The Lost Art of Making Do

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Make do - v. to use what you already have, to manage to get along with the means available.

It seems that in this hyperconsumerism driven culture, we've lost the art of making do. Probably the last time we as a society collectively practiced making do was during the Great Depression and World War II. It was a survival skill that was quickly forgotten amongst the disposable world we live in today. Don't get me wrong. There are still people out there who know a thing or two about making do, mostly out of necessity. But the majority of our society has fallen into the mindset of discarding and buying new. Using something until it has no use left in it is a foreign concept.

We are bombarded with commercials that tell us what we need to buy. Products are manufactured with disposal in mind. Big tech companies make it hard to repair their products, thus it becomes easier if you have the funds just to purchase new. Most things these days are manufactured to appear to become obsolete within a limited time, manipulating the consumer to buy the latest computer/phone/shoes, etc. And many items are manufactured for single usage.

The clothing industry is a good example. Except for the rare knee patch on a kid's worn pair of jeans, most people no longer mend clothing or have the skill to do so. Unfortunately, most clothing doesn't even get to that stage before it's discarded or donated. Fast fashion has created a highly wasteful market. While I think it is important to donate and shop used, the used market has been overwhelmed as well. What we need to go back to is using up, mending, repairing. That is where the impact is going to make the biggest difference to the environment and to the current market.

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This past week I made a realization about making do when it comes to food. Money is tight right now. Really tight. I've been keeping us fed by making do and using up food staples I already have on hand. I'm amazed at how much food I have even though it doesn't feel like it. We get so accustomed to being able to make our weekly or monthly grocery shopping trip and when it doesn't happen we feel like we are lacking. In truth, most of us here in the U.S. have plenty in our pantries that we can use up before truly going hungry. We may be eating lots of boring rice, dried beans, and pasta, but we are not going hungry. When you are hit with hard times a well-stocked pantry and the ability to make do are a life saver.

How can making do improve our lives? What if we learned to appreciate the fine wear of our shoes, the slight pull of a thread on our sweater, the miles displayed on our car's odometer, the harmless chip on our coffee mug? What if we saw the beauty in how much use an item still holds instead of allowing ourselves to be pulled in by the desire for something new? What if we learn truly be grateful for what we already have by using it up or wearing it out?

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Making do can make a big impact on our environment. We'll buy less stuff, which in turn means fewer resources will be used up and less pollution created during the manufacture of new items, as well as less of an impact from discarded items. Our money will go further and we can spend it on things that are truly fulfilling, like time with friends and family, traveling, or pursuing the things that feed our souls. It pairs nicely with minimalism in that we aren't going out and filling our homes with more unneeded stuff. And I suspect it encourages greater respect toward our possessions that lead us to care for them better so they will last longer.

Do you have a story of making do? Was it by choice or for survival?

12 Things You Can do Today to Minimize Your Life

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Minimalism is a lifelong journey. It doesn't happen overnight and it requires a change in mindset. Deciding to downsize your life can be overwhelming. The process of eliminating those things burdening you can be outright maddening if attempted all at once. It's an ongoing process with ups and downs just like anything else in life. Right now my upside is that the inside of my home is nearly where I want it and it brings me much more peace. The big downside is that my garage is full of everything I cleaned out of my living space and I either need to hold a garage sale or haul it off before it drives me crazy.

That said, there are simple things you can do, small steps to get you started. The following list is meant to help anyone in the beginning stages of minimalism build momentum and make those first baby steps toward a simpler life.

1. Delete all social media from your phone. Yes, you read that right. We all know it's tempting to take a peek at Facebook while you've got your phone in your hand or upload your lunch to Instagram. Deleting social media will help you focus on the present moment and become more conscious of how you spend your time.
2. Clean out your email inbox. Don't just delete messages, but unsubscribe from all those newsletters that pile up and never get read. If you are like me, you will need to do this in chunks, not all in one day, because I tend to allow my inbox to get overwhelmingly full. 
3. Pick one room to start downsizing. I started with my bedroom. The kitchen is also a good place to start. Break it up even smaller and pick one drawer or one cabinet to clean out. The next day pick another one until you are done and ready to move on to the next room. 
4. Be honest with yourself. I mean, come on, why are you really keeping that thing you don't use or care for? Is it out of guilt? Get rid of it! Especially if it has a bad feeling attached to it.
5. Have a clear vision of the life you want to be living in your head. Do you want to move to a smaller home? Do you want to travel more? What is the end goal or goals? How minimal do you want to go?
6. If possible, get your extended family on the same page. This can be especially hard if you have kids with well-meaning grandparents, or like me, have an ex who inundates his child with toys even though I've talked to him about it. If you can't get them on the same page, you'll just have to resort to occasional purges to get rid of things that the kids are no longer interested in. Luckily, I have a kid open to minimalism as long as I don't touch his Legos.
7. With that in mind, respect the boundaries of the other members of your household. Don't be a jerk and secretly toss your partner's ugly sweater with holes that he really loves. This can be especially hard if you live with someone who leans more toward hoarding. I'm no expert there so I can't offer any advise, but if it's a normal situation and you want to get rid of it because YOU don't like it, just remember it's not yours to decide. My only exception to this rule is broken toys or other items that have become dangerous and/or irreparable.
8. Practice the 24-hour rule when tempted to purchase something you see that you want but don't need. Wait 24 hours, then come back to it. Usually, by then the excitement over the thing has diminished and you will no longer want it. I do this all the time on Amazon. I'll save it to my wishlist and go back to it later to discover I'm just not interested in it anymore.
9. When you do purchase things, buy them to last. It's not only better for your wallet, but also the environment. When you get to that point you no longer need or want it, it will still be in good enough shape to pass on to someone else or donate. 
10. Find like-minded people to support your goals. Follow The Minimalists, No Sidebar, or other minimalist bloggers.  Join minimalist groups. Sometimes embracing minimalism can feel like a lonely journey when the world around you seems lost in over-consumerism. 
11. Learn from my mistakes and don't fill your garage with all the stuff you cleaned out of your living space. Either hold that garage sale or donate it as you clear. If you have lots of stuff, most thrift stores have trucks that will come pick it up free of charge. You truly haven't let it go if it's still sitting around in your garage, even if you don't have to look at it every day. 
12. Finally, don't compare yourself with other minimalists. There is no set number of things you must whittle down to or specific house you must live in. Minimalism is about simplifying YOUR life to make room for the things YOU enjoy, so it's going to be a very individualistic journey.

Minimalism and Scarcity

Minimalism can feel like an abstract ideology to those who don't understand it. It can even be hard to define for people who do get it. But one misconception I see again and again is this idea that minimalism is about living without, taking a vow of poverty, of self-induced scarcity. Minimalism is something much simpler and more beautiful than that.

Scarcity is actually minimalism's nemesis. They are like oil and water. Minimalism is intentional and creates peace. Scarcity, whether perceived or real, stirs up fear. Case in point, about a week after Hurricane Harvey came through Texas it was rumored that there was a gas shortage here in San Antonio. Panic took over and people started lining up at the gas pumps in droves. It was taking hours to get through the line at some stations. People were bringing many containers to hoard gas. Soon there was a real gas shortage. It lasted for several days as trucks had a hard time hauling enough gasoline to make up for the shortage caused by the mass panic.

Scarcity, or the fear of, triggers hoarding.

Minimalism is only about living with the things you need or want, or, as Marie Kondo says, the things that bring you joy and the things you absolutely need. This very open-ended definition can fit many lifestyles from living on the road to living in an apartment in downtown Chicago.

Insist on holding onto your vast library of books? Awesome! Books bring me joy, too. Need your car for work. Of course. I wouldn't expect you to bike 10 miles in the sleet to get to work. It's your choice how you want to embrace minimalism. And that's the beauty of it. You don't have to throughout all of your stuff and go live in a grass hut with one pair of clothes and a notebook and pen..unless you want to.

The only rule, if you want to call it that:

RID YOURSELF OF EVERY SINGLE THING THAT WEIGHS YOU DOWN.

The dusty clutter, the photos of people you don't even remember who they are, the gifts kept out of guilt. Let them go. Look at time wasters, too. I deleted the Facebook app off of my phone because I didn't want myself casually clicking on it when I was out of the house. Clean out your email accounts and unsubscribe from all those newsletters you'll never read. Hang out with people who feed your soul.

Then fill that empty space with more time for family, more money for travel, time to meditate or write that novel. Things that make your heart sing.

Or, leave it empty like a great big blank canvas of opportunity.

It's really your choice.

Oh, and please refrain from judging those who are embracing minimalism a little bit different than you. Or those who don't choose to embrace it at all. We are all doing the best we can with what we know right now. And when we know better, then we may do better.

Staying Centered When The World Feels Out of Control

I know I'm not the only one who looks around and thinks our society has collectively gone mad on many levels.

Yesterday, on my way home, I decided to stop into the newest HEB grocery store because I needed to pick up some milk. It was opening day. People were filling the parking lot. I grabbed my milk and decided to look around, but after a couple of minutes decided to head straight for the checkout. It's a beautiful store, shiny and bright, filled with a wide selection of items, but is it really what we need? Wouldn't the world be better with more farmers markets, local bakeries, small mom and pop shops? Do we really need another Wal-mart, Target, corner drug store, gas station, etc.?

Folks, we are rushing headlong into an environmental disaster. And we don't seem to be able to stop ourselves. We are like buffalo running ourselves off a cliff.

While all of this is going on, our country is dangerously divided. People are slinging hateful words at each other, and worse. The threat of a war with two different countries is being flung about. Every day, the news brings something else negative and the divide gets wider.

Then there are our own personal struggles. Right now mine is the struggle to build a thriving business while taking care of all the responsible stuff as a single parent. Some days are about flow. Some days are full of resistance and I just want to give up.

It can be hard to not feel discouraged. But there are some things you can do, that I do, to help keep you in the right mindset.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It's important that we own how we are feeling. When we feel discouraged, we may try to push down the sadness and disappointment. Or, if you are prone to anxiety or depression, curl up in a ball and hide from the world. But in neither of these instances are we owning how we feel. We need to be able to look in the mirror and say to ourselves, "Yes, I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now.  Things feel out of control."  

Ask Yourself This One Question

What is one step I can take today towards achieving XYZ? Whether XYZ is taking control of where your food comes from, speaking out politically, building a business, working toward minimalism, or something entirely different, just take that one step that is in your power to take. There is always something you can do, no matter how small. 

Minimalize

When you're surrounded only by the things that bring joy to your life or you need to make your life run smoother, your life isn't going to feel as chaotic on a personal level. It's one more thing you can feel you have control over when things aren't going as planned. 

Find Your Tribe

Find people who understand your way of looking at things. Then reach out to them. Isolation can be devastating when you are feeling overwhelmed. I know first hand. Taking a step back is fine, especially if you are an introvert in need of recharging. Hiding out and avoiding people, especially those people who can lift you up, is unhealthy.

Get Out In Nature

Research has shown that exposure to the natural world is healing. If you aren't up for a hike through the wilderness, take your morning coffee outside and listen to the morning bird song. Grab someone from your tribe and go for a walk or run at a local park. You will be avoiding isolation, getting some exercise, and exposing yourself to nature all at once. 

Detach From Social Media

Some of us, like me, depend on social media to promote our businesses. I can't be away from it for large chunks of time. But I can step away for blocks of time. One thing I did so I'm not absent mindedly clicking into Facebook when I'm out is to simply uninstall the app from my phone. I can only access Facebook from my laptop or my tablet. In fact, I don't have any social media apps on my phone, so if you want to get ahold of me when I'm away from my desk you will have to call or text. I'm looking at going further and declaring one solid day where I step back from social media. 

And finally...

Keep A Gratitude Journal

I can't stress this enough. I have kept one for five years now. I switched from keeping a traditional journal to a gratitude journal because I felt like I was focusing too much on the negative stuff. I don't write in it every day, but I do make sure to sit down with it several times a week, especially on those days things don't feel like they are going well. It is on those days that you especially need to sit down and take stock in every positive in your life, no matter how small. Maybe it's just that you got out of bed and combed your hair. Write it down. The plus about a gratitude journal: you won't need to burn them to get rid off all the negative stuff you don't want your children to read when you are gone. 

What do you do to help keep you centered during crazy times? I'd love to hear your stories.

The Great Purge: Peeling Back the Layers of Over Consumption

It amazed me how much stuff one can own. According to a March 2014 article in the Los Angeles Times, the average U.S. household contains 300,000 items. 47% of all toys and books are owned by children in the U.S., who only make up 3.7% of the children on the planet. It feels like 80% of those toys are in my son's room right now. Ugh. Well, to be fair, it's mostly Legos, but still...

The path to minimalism is a peeling of the onion. Layer one, all the stuff. Step one, the initial purge. This step can be a bit overwhelming. Where do you even begin? My suggestion is to start with the obvious. What stands out as a burden to you? What brings bad memories or sits around collecting dust? Put it in a box and get rid of it. Donate it to a local thrift shop, a homeless shelter, a women's and children's shelter. Hold a garage sale.

My initial purge was brought about by the end of a tumultuous marriage. I got rid of everything that reminded me of his presence. That was a really easy purge, I admit. I had a big garage sale and made enough money to pay the rent.

During the second purge, you will likely dig a little deeper. By this point, there may be some things you have been holding on to that suddenly seem trivial or silly to keep. Why do I have enough wine glasses to throw a party when I am more likely to just have one or two friends over?  What am I keeping this heavy winter coat for when it never gets cold enough to wear it where I live?

Peel that onion back. Peel some more.

The hardest part? Fighting back all the stuff well-meaning people in your life will gift you and (especially) your children during the holidays. If you find the answer to that, get back to me.

I'm in the process of yet another purge. I'm peeling away to get down to the core of what I actually need to own and what I want to keep around because it makes me happy. I've cleaned out a dressing table that mostly served as a place to catch dust, pile unfolded laundry, and just generally gather a messy junk heap that the cat enjoyed pushing into the floor. I have it for sale and I really hope a buyer comes along quickly because it's already becoming covered with stuff once again.

I've purged my kitchen yet again until I'm mostly down to the basics. I am left with one dilemma in the kitchen. I have two sets of dishes. One is a collectible and pretty. The other is basic every day and chipped from misuse. My inclination is to sell the collectible set and keep the set I don't mind getting banged up, but the other set brings me more joy. These are the kinds of dilemmas you will find yourself in as you minimalize your possessions, but don't get stuck on them. For now, I'll keep both and figure it out later.

Minimalizing can take time. Most minimalists don't begin by giving away or selling everything overnight to live out of a bus with their suitcase full of clothes. It's a slow removal of what doesn't work for you. It's a monthly or quarterly or yearly revisiting of the things that surround you, peeling the layers of consumerism that drown our society in too much stuff until you get to the core of who you are and what you need.

Redefining Earning a Living

I've always felt a calling toward creating. Painting, photography, writing. I was always told those weren't legitimate choices. People like to throw out the much overused "starving artist". Then they pick some poor artist or writer who remained unknown until his or her death to use as an example. You'll end up like that, they'd say. So I've always held on to the belief that as long as I pursued these callings I wouldn't make any money from it. And, guess what? I've never really earned any money from any of these endeavors. I mean, yeah, I've earned a little here or there, but not really what I was worth. Because I wasn't expecting to.

Our American society, and perhaps all societies built on similar economic systems, holds that the only worthy way of earning a living is by sacrificing your time and your dreams. It's the American dream you are supposed to be going after. Big house, nice car, pretty things. You get a J-O-B working for someone else at least 40 hours a week. If you are lucky, it's something that both pays well and brings some level of satisfaction. If you are lucky. If not, you slog away your days for someone else just so you can keep a roof over your family and food on the table. In our society it's never been about what brings you joy. It's how much money you make and all of the things that you can buy with that money.

Earn a living. The word "living" should never be associated with monetary worth. That's where we have gone horribly wrong. You earn an income for the deemed value of your work. That value often seems arbitrary to the whims of society, e.g. starving artist.

There is another way.

Minimalism and the tiny house movement are a part of this revolution to rethink and redefine what it means to earn a living. If you have less stuff, you need less money to maintain or replace that stuff. You can work less or chose work not by how much it pays, but by how much joy it brings you. That is liberating, especially for someone who doesn't fit in with this consumerist mold.

Someone like me.

And now here I am J-O-B less. Falling into the same traps. Hearing those old voices. You can't make a living blogging. No one wants to buy your art. The photography market is over saturated. You can't earn a living that way. You need to get a real job. Rent is coming due and you are broke. Get real.

I've given up on those dreams too many times. I quit art school. I stopped painting for a while. I stopped writing, stopped trying to get published. I gave up my photography business because the ex told me I needed to get that "real" job. Start. Stop. Start. Stop.

I'm tired of stopping. I'm angry at those voices. It's time to prove them wrong.

I've read about people young and old who sold everything to live a mobile life. Some earn a living through their computers. Some live off of the funds from selling everything that held them down. I've read about people who live off a small plot of land, modern day homesteaders who need very little from the outside world. There are the urban minimalists who live in small apartments and use their time and money on experiences instead of filling up an oversized house with stuff. These people are truly redefining what it means to earn a living. If they can do it, so can I. If they can do it, so can you.

Embrace your joy and earn a livable income. The two aren't mutually exclusive, contrary to what we've been taught.

Is Minimalism Poverty Appropriation?

I have a firsthand knowledge of poverty. There was a period of time growing up where my family lived in a home that was dark, drafty in the winter, and way too small. The roof leaked. I feared that the bathtub would fall through the floor every time I took a bath because the floor was so rotten. My parents drove $500 cars with the muffler tied up and the seats worn. I was embarrassed to have friends over and hated the cheap clothes I wore to school. Sometimes Mom would have to get creative to feed us. Dad became bitter and angry. He worked so hard, but it wasn't enough. We were among the rural poor of America.

I found myself struggling as an adult, five years ago, after my marriage to a very emotionally abusive man fell apart. I lost my job because I lacked childcare for my then three year old son. I had to rely on assistance to feed us. I had to beg, borrow, and take on odd jobs to keep the rent paid. I've dealt with the humiliation of having the lights cut off. I've dealt with the struggle of having to decide between getting the car repaired so I could drive to work or paying the bills. I eventually was offered a job as a teaching assistant in a little private school and now work as an art teacher at a different school. I still don't earn a lot, but we get by enough that I am no longer on government assistance.

So, yeah, I know a little bit about poverty.

Today I came across an article entitled The Troubling Trendiness of Poverty Appropriation by July Westhale. Westhale makes the connection between minimalism, the tiny house movement, and poverty appropriation. She admits "This idea of "returning" to a "simple" life is one I struggle with." She tries to make the case that by wealthy people choosing to simplify their lives is poverty appropriation simply because poor people are limited by choice. 

I want to point out three things. One, poverty does not equal living a simple life. There is nothing simple about poverty. Two, poor people still have choices and are still capable of making bad choices that further hinder their situation and good choices that may lead to a more satisfying life. Three, minimalism isn't some feel good trend for the wealthy. In fact, in my experience, minimalism improved my standard of living even though I was poor. 

This is the second article I have come across trying to equate minimalism trends with poverty appropriation. I just don't see it. Yes, there needs to be more conversation on poverty in America, as well as an understanding of the unique challenges of the urban and rural poor. I see a huge rift between the really wealthy of our country and the poorest. In our current political climate that rift seems to be growing at an alarming rate. But I actually see minimalism as part of the solution to the issues surrounding poverty. 

Minimalism uses up less resources. It encourages thrift and moves us away from capitalism. It demands a respect for environment, lifting quality of living. Embracing minimalism actually allows  me to live on a lower class salary and truly embrace simplicity. I still struggle. I still make bad choices from time to time. Hey, I'm human. But minimalism has improved my standard of living.

I feel like Westhale doesn't fully understand minimalism and harbors some resentment for her years living in poverty. I get it. I feel that resentment at times, too. But I realize it's a struggle inside of me and doesn't help. I think she also uses a couple really fringe groups to make her point that poverty appropriation is even a thing. 

I agree with her that poverty sucks. It's nothing to mock and it is far more complicated than the stereotypes our culture assigns to it. However, she misuses the word appropriation. I see no glorification of the poor through minimalism. It is possible to be poor and choose minimalism as a way to better one's life. It is also possible to be wealthy and choose to embrace minimalism as a means to escape the rat race overconsumption of our society. Neither is better than the other. Neither is an insult to the other. Both are living their lives the best they know how. 

Common Misconceptions about Minimalism

Minimalism can seem confusing and a bit abstract to those new to the concept. What is minimalism? The very definition of minimalism is fluid, depending on what expert you talk to. To some, it's surrounding yourself with only the things you love. For others, it's a quest to decrease their carbon footprint. For me, it's a combination of things; environmental concerns, a desire for more freedom, and the desire to create a peaceful environment after years of walking on eggshells in a verbally abusive relationship. As I get older, I also realize that I don't want to burden my children with the baggage of a lifetime of my stuff.

Here are some of the misconceptions about minimalism that I have come across that I think need clarification:

Minimalism is only for the middle class and the wealthy.

I'm astounded by the popularity of this belief. People seem to go out of their way to be offended by minimalism, suggesting that it's a form of poverty appropriation. Minimalism, in its fluidity, works at every class level, outside of being homeless. I have lived it. Although it wasn't too difficult for me, grasping on to minimalism kept me from becoming homeless. It doesn't offend me that some wealthy person has decided to downsize in order to leave the rat race and enjoy life more. Why should it? I think it benefits society as a whole.

I shop at thrift stores, sifting through middle class and wealthy cast off's. I have had to put off purchasing new undergarments for myself in order to buy the kid what he needs. By someone's determination, this should make me feel angry. But again, why? The person who donated the Anne Taylor shirt I bought for $2.00 isn't at fault for my situation. Embracing minimalism helps raise people up out of poverty. It is helping me.

You can read more about my thoughts on minimalism and poverty here: Minimalism can help you Break the Chains of Poverty, and here: Why Poor People Making Bad Decisions is a Dangerous Mindset.

Minimalism is About Deprivation 

I think this belief feeds in to the previous belief about poverty and minimalism. Under this misconception, minimalism appears as choosing a life of deprivation, a self induced vow of poverty. But minimalism isn't about deprivation. This belief misses the point entirely. Minimalism is about letting go of the heavy weight that holds you down and embracing what brings you joy. It's about evaluating what you allow in your life and adjusting accordingly.

So many times we hold onto objects with bad memories associated with them or were gifts that weren't really our thing but we don't want to hurt feelings. We fall for the sparkling trappings of the latest gadgets or this season's fashions. We buy storage containers to organize and hide our excessive possessions or drown in clutter because we might need them again someday. Let it go!

Minimalism gives you space to breathe. It's the quiet in a too busy world. Instead of deprivation, you find yourself blessed with the things that matter. Things need care and take up our time. They need carted around when we move and stored when we are settled. Owning only those things that bring us joy or that we find useful ensures we are not wasting our time and energy on stuff that doesn't matter to us.

There is a Magic Number of Items to Own to be Considered a Minimalist 

Like I said before, minimalism is very fluid. It is also very personal. It's less about the number of items you own and more about embracing a concept of joy and beauty. I know without counting that my books alone number much higher than than some minimalists entire possessions. They bring me joy. But I got rid of all the dusty wine glasses that suggested some day I was going to host a rather large dinner party. I kept only enough for a small gathering of friends, which suits my introverted personality better. 

I have a long way to go on this journey. I have been driving around with yard sale leftovers in the back of my Jeep for a month now and I still feel like I have too much stuff that I need to sort through and get rid of. It's an important journey for me, and one I hope will lead to more personal freedom. Your journey is going to be totally different, but that's the beauty of minimalism. You get to define what it means to you. 

Raising A Free Range Child in the Modern World

This past summer my boys got to enjoy a couple carefree days exploring their grandparents' woods and pond. They spent an entire day undisturbed, building the framework for a hut and sharpening sticks into daggers. I only interfered long enough to make sure they ate. At the end of the day they were dirty, tired, and happy. It was a rare taste of freedom to explore the world on their terms that modern parenting seems void of. I want more of these moments for my boys, for all children.

Fear seems to rule parenting these days. I get it. There are horrible people out there who harm children in unspeakable ways. There are nosy neighbors who call CPS over a child playing alone in the yard, no matter the age of the child. Things can happen, and fast, though statistics show that our fears, for the most part, are anomalies. We are afraid that our kid is going to be the one in a million and we'd have to live with that guilt the rest of our lives. So how can we provide the freedom of exploration to our children within a framework that best protects them?

When my brother and I were growing up, we'd be gone for hours, playing in drainage ditches with the neighbor's children, exploring fields and forests, and climbing trees. It was a wonderful freedom and it taught us a lot about our world. I'm sure it also gave Mom a break. Our explorations are some of my favorite memories as a child. They instilled a sense of independence and a love for the natural world that I still have today. What has changed? Certainly not the risks involved in such free play.

Lenore Skenazy, a leader in the movement to reclaim childhood freedom describes the reasons why children are no longer as free to roam as they once were. She says we live in a hyper media culture where stories about hurt and endangered children quickly grab our attention and play on our fear. We have also become a culture of experts who judge others and the way they parent.

Our society seems to hold the view that children must be protected from all risks of injury. Here's the thing, risk taking, independence, and discovery all lead to increased confidence. Our fear of our children being harmed could be creating fearful children who avoid risk taking and are void of the kind of creative thinking skills needed to succeed as an adult. Overall, children are better at assessing risk than we give them credit for. They are not the fragile, inept little beings we label them as.

 So what can you do in this modern world of limitations, especially if you live in an urban area? First of all, allow your child plenty of unstructured time. Give him or her unsupervised access to things like scraps of wood, a hammer, and some nails. Let an area of your back yard grow wild for exploration and fort building. My seven year old can spend hours playing with the dog or the chickens in the overgrown shrubbery while I am in the house cooking or writing for my blog. Yes, kids need to spend time with their parents, but they need time without us as well. Let them get dirty, scrape their knees from running, climb trees and get stuck, build forts, and sharpen sticks into daggers. Give them room to explore their world on their terms, without an adult standing over them telling them how the world should be. After all, they are tomorrow's problem solvers and if we don't give them the chance to figure smaller things out on their own now, how can we expect them to work out the larger things later?

Blog Round Up: Spreading the Love

This past week I have had the honor of participating in a blogging challenge hosted by Darren Rowse of Pro Blogger. The challenge not only has helped me with becoming a better blogger, but also introduced me to some fantastic people in the blogging community.

Below, find links to some of my favorite blogs that took part in the challenge. I will be adding on to the list, so be sure to come back in a couple days. Make sure you take the time to go check out these fabulous blogs and leave comments, too, even if it's a quick "I found you through The Hippy Home." We bloggers like that kind of stuff.

The Running Mate  

I really like the layout of Swiss blogger, Mikula Almann' running blog. I have never considered myself a runner, but I am learning to like it. The Running Mate appeals to long time runners and "newbies" like me.

Darren Moroney

Darren is an Australian coach and personal trainer. Check out his visuals on how to create the perfect meal.

Hope and Cents

Alayna is a personal finance coach who writes about minimalism and managing your money.

Transitions From War

Mike is a true inspiration for everyone. He writes about overcoming PTSD through competing in triathlons, trail running, and endurance challenges.

A Conversation on Living Simply

Today's post is going to be short because I want you to do most of the talking. I would love to hear your thoughts on simple living/ minimalism. So, grab a cup of coffee, or tea if you prefer, and pull up a chair, just two old friends chatting on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Minimalism and living a simplified life look like different things to each of us. It can depend on where you live, what stage of life you are in, and your expectations. Do you embrace, or are you working towards, living a simple life? What does that look like to you? Urban homesteader, isolated cabin in the woods, mobile tiny house living?

In our fast paced, consumer driven culture minimalism can be very challenging. Especially when you have well meaning family and friends who do not embrace your lifestyle. Special occasions and holidays can be very tricky. How do you face those challenges? How do you avoid buying more stuff you don't need?

Leave your comments below, and I promise to respond to every one of you. If you have any questions regarding minimalism and simple living, I'd love to hear those as well.

Why You Should Regularly Unplug from Technology

     

1. Recharge Your Soul, And Your Mental Health 

Our brains aren't wired to process the vast amount of information available to us over the Internet. It can be very overwhelming, especially when you add in the emotional impact of recent events; mass shootings, protests, the presidential election. We are inundated with stories of victims, rumors, and heated discussions that too often are turning ugly. We may start feeling anxious or depressed. 

We need to give ourselves space. While I don't advocate burying your head in the sand and avoiding the world around you, I do advocate disabling your social media apps and disconnecting from the Internet and television at least once a week. The hardest part is letting go of the feeling that you are missing out on something. But while you may be, you will be gaining something else, space for your own ideas, space to create and come alive away from the virtual world.

2. Focus On the Here and Now

We've all witnesses it, maybe even are guilty of it. The table of friends out at a restaurant for dinner, and all of them are checking their Facebook statuses or texting someone not present. Bluetooth and wifi have given us the ability to stay connected almost everywhere, but at what cost? Do you really want to be checking your email or reading your Facebook status everywhere? Turn your phone off and really take notice of who and what is around you. After all, the here and now is all we really have. 

3. Increase Your Productivity 

Pinterest is my time waster. I get a lot of great ideas for projects. As a teacher, it is a valuable resource. However, I often get swept down a rabbit hole of information, clicking from one link to another until I look up to find an hour or more has passed. I can tell myself that I was being productive, but really, it's the glorification of busy and an excuse to procrastinate. You have been there, too. Admit it. Maybe not on Pinterest. Maybe your vice is checking your email. You are looking for that one important email, but get lost reading all the unimportant stuff that can wait or should be deleted. Unplugging for a day, or even a few hours, opens up time to focus on hands on tasks. We have given ourselves one less distraction. I know I am far more productive at home when I unplug. 

4. Get Up and Get Moving 

Spending too much time behind our computers or looking down at our phones and tablets can have negative health effects on our body. Eye strain, neck and shoulder pain, and carpel tunnel syndrome can all take their toll when we spend too much time connected to technology. Our bodies need to move. We need to take time away from technology to get up and stretch, raise our heads up to gaze at the sky. My favorite thing to do when I unplug is hiking. Not only am I moving my body, but I am out in nature, which adds a whole other level of mental clarity.

The Balancing Act of Being Frugal and Enjoying Life

A recent Facebook post by financial advisor, Suze Orman, talked about evaluating your spending habits to find out where you are carelessly spending money in order to reallocate that money to savings, investments, or to pay off debt. The main point of the post seemed to be that there are always little money leaks we can plug in order to put that money to better use. The post was well meaning and on point for most people, but as someone who has struggled to climb out of poverty, I wanted to get the point across that this wasn't a concept that applied to everyone. My first year as a single mom I couldn't risk any frivolous spending. Getting a hair cut, purchasing new clothes, stopping at Starbucks for a coffee were things I simply could not risk spending my money on because any purchases outside of necessities meant I wouldn't be able to keep the lights on or a roof over our head. Even now, I only stop at Starbucks if I have a gift card and I can't even understand how anyone would spend $50 on an item of clothing. For far too many people out there struggling, there truly isn't any way to cut spending, and this is what I wanted to get across in my post. Too many people can't comprehend what it truly is like to be at rock bottom financially.

I agree that even people who are poor can spend their money on bad choices, but for me and many others, we watch where every penny goes. We brew our own coffee, buy clothes from the thrift store, avoid eating out, go without cable. We have already narrowed our budget down as far as it can go. And there is still nothing left over for an emergency fund, let alone investing.

An interesting point came up in the conversation I started, however, that got me thinking. One woman posted how it seemed sad to her that some people on the thread were so caught up in saving money that they missed the joy of going on vacation or other ways of spending their money that might bring them greater happiness. Is there such thing as being too frugal, especially when your income falls below the poverty line?

I watched an interesting speech by Harvard Business School professor Micheal Norton called How to Make Choices That Bring You Sustainable Happiness. You can watch the entire video here. He makes the interesting claim that money can buy happiness if you spend it on the right things, such as experiences or helping others. Even if you are poor. From my experiences I can say he is right on target.

But, wait a minute. How do you balance keeping a roof over your family's heads and food in their stomachs with spending money on experiences or helping others, especially when you are just getting by? Here's the deal. You don't have to spend big. All it takes is a little extra gas money or bus fare to get downtown to enjoy the free night at the museum, or maybe a day at the park, or an unlimited number of other experiences that cost little other than your time and the transportation to get there.

Spending money on others can be as simple as buying a bag of apples to hand out to the homeless or putting a couple extra dimes in a strangers parking meter that's about to expire. Again, it doesn't have to be high dollar to have meaning.

It's scary, though. This spending money on things outside of basic living expenses. When you are scraping by and unsure of how you are even going to make rent, every dime counts. Let me tell you something amazing. Every time I stepped back and spent outside of my comfort level on an experience for myself and my children or helped someone out that needed it more than me, things would alway work out. Always. And because of my choices to find ways to give my children wonderful experiences camping at the beach or roaming one of the local art museums on their free family night, my boys have wonderful memories made in the middle of some dreadfully awful times. To others looking in, our trip to camp at the beach may have seemed extravagant at the time, and maybe even a little risky. But to us, it was worth far more than I spent on the trip. How can you put a price on happiness?

My advice boils down to this: be frugal in the everyday areas of your life. Make due with your 17 year old robe. Drive a used car. Disconnect your cable. Simplify your life as much as possible. But, every once in a while splurge on an experience with your family. Even if it's just going out for ice cream. When you are struggling to get by you get so focused on survival that you can forget to take time to find enjoyment, but if you want to do more than just survive, I argue that being a little irresponsible every now and then is actually the most responsible thing you can do.

The Minimalist Guide to Burning Shit

One thing I had been holding onto as I went through the house purging of unwanted and unneeded stuff was several volumes of journals documenting the years I was with the little one's dad and ending sometime the year after he left us. At first I kept them to search for clues I should have picked up, but missed. Then, it was to form a timeline of events for court. I moved them from the bedside cabinet to a shelf high in my closet. Occasionally I'd leaf through one, but reading them just left me aching and angry all over again. So, they sat there on my closet shelf for months, collecting dust, too high up for me to reach easily.

But this is a year for change, for purging and letting go of all that garbage.

And it was still hard.

I began by ripping the pages loose from their binding into a big pile on my bedroom floor, setting aside the first volume from that very first year. I found the little charcoal grill and staged it on the picnic table outside, along with some matches. I fetched my pile of writings and sketches, crinkling them into balls and tossing them into the grill. Once I had a good pile, I started the fire. I felt almost giddy as I tossed page after page into the flames and watched them burn. Soon I had erased everything but that first year, the first volume, written on delicate pretty paper inlaid with leaves and flowers.

I took one last glance through its pages, sighed, and threw the whole journal into the fire before I could change my mind.

I don't know why it was hard to toss that first journal into the fire. It was full of lies, lies I told myself about how wonderful everything was. But, I suppose it was full of hope, too.

Why am I sharing this deeply personal story here? There is a process to simplifying one's life. First, you begin to see all the possessions you own that you don't need. You will discard old shirts, kitchen appliances you don't use, gifts that really weren't your thing but you were too guilty to get rid of, books you've never read but held onto for years. You will get really creative and toss all the bath products you don't use, candy you don't need to eat, copies of old bank statements. Then, when you have sifted through all of the obvious things that you can get rid of, you will come to the emotional baggage, the old love letters from your first crush, photos of friends who have moved on, and, if you are like me, journals full of stories of your life.

It is going to be a very personal decision for you to discard or keep. Listen to your heart, but be willing to let go of the past. If it doesn't feel right to toss it, hold on to it. You may change your mind one day, but if you don't that's ok. For me, it was time to move on. I'm done. As I told a close friend of mine, I don't need that crap in my life anymore.

Set it on fire. Burn that shit. Eat some chocolate and drink a glass of wine. Then move on. Because life is about moving forward. Besides, you don't need that crap in your life anymore either.

A Minimalist Guide to Simplifying the Holidays with Children

I am going to start with a story about a five year old little girl. Christmas was coming up and money was tight. Her parents didn't want to deprive her or her little sister of a glorious, bountiful Christmas, but they only had the money to get her one gift. A little kitchen set with a pretend stove and a little sink. They placed it under the tree Christmas eve. The little girl's eyes lit up when she came down stairs and saw that kitchen set sitting there. In her joyful little voice she exclaimed, "I got everything I wanted!"

That little girl was my first born daughter. She is now grown with her own son. She may not even remember saying that, but I will never forget that Christmas because her wise little words shined a light on the truth about over consumerism and Christmas. She clearly was not deprived by her lack of gifts. That one gift meant the world to her and to share it with her family was all she needed.

Friends and relatives who do not grasp this, who feel it isn't Christmas unless their are stacks of gifts under the tree, they will be the hardest challenge to getting through the holidays. "Don't you feel like you are depriving your children?" they'll ask. "But part of the joy of Christmas is giving," they'll exclaim, "and I enjoy giving." Let these well meaning folks know they may still give gifts to your children, but to please limit them to experiences or time spent together. Ideas might be a cooking class for your son who likes to cook, a museum pass, tickets to a special event the child can attend with grandma and grandpa. There are endless possibilities and memories last far longer than any soon to be broken toy will.

If they must give a physical gift, guide them toward purchasing something used. Last year I purchased a child sized table and chairs set for my son off Craigslist. It would have cost me a lot more new. I've also picked up books and old record albums at the thrift store. Gifts don't have to be new to be loved and appreciated.

Children love to participate in random acts of kindness, and the holidays are a great time to get your kids on board. Again, the list is endless. Bake cookies together and deliver them to neighbors. Leave random good wishes on windshields. Last year I took my youngest son to a nursing home where he handed out goodies and visited the residents. He and the residents were beaming when we left.

Kids also love to make presents. Some of the things I've helped my kids make in the past are little stuffed monsters, tied fleece blankets, pretty recycled jars filled with hot cocoa mix, and clay ornaments. Guide them on some options, but ultimately if it is their idea they will be more excited about it. Your time is much better spent helping them make these gifts than fighting crowds at the store.

For more ideas on simplifying the holidays with children, I recommend going to The Center for a New American Dream. They have many resources and ideas for a commercial free holiday. They have printable coupons and a booklet full of tips for less stress and more joy. You can also find them on Facebook and Pinterest.

Minimalism Can Help You Break The Chains of Poverty

This is another one of my thinking out loud posts. Some of you already know I am getting back on my feet after some really tough years. Not easy, let me tell you. My first year as a single parent I was earning well below the standards set for poverty in our country. That year my total taxable income was $7,000. It took a lot of creativity and help from family and friends to keep a roof over our heads, but I did it. By all comparisons, I am doing much better now. But busting out of poverty is no easy task unless you make a really significant jump in income. Why? Things break. Credit piles up. If I hadn't been thrust into poverty, what I earn now, with my lifestyle, would be bountiful. I'd be able to build a savings. But that never happens. Because things break.

Right now I am ignoring the fact that my Jeep has a leak in the cooling system because going to the mechanic is not a financially sound option. So I keep adding fluid so it doesn't overheat and kill the engine. I haven't replaced my eye glasses in, well, it has been so long I can't remember. I have been putting off seriously needed dental care for that same amount of lost time.

Poverty is like a really deep hole in the ground with loose soil piled up around it at the top. You can attempt to climb out, but you've got to find a way to do it without burying yourself. At times you will be so tired from climbing your way out you want to just give up. You've had so much dirt thrown in your face it seems impossible to climb out. Occasionally you get a glimpse of someone walking by your hole and you try not to get angry, try not to envy them for having both feet on the ground. And occasionally someone up there will toss you a stepping stone so you are a little closer to the top, or hand you a shovel so you can dig easier. Someone may even throw you a rope, but you still have to climb out. Just as occasionally, someone will kick dirt back into your hole, where you will taste the grit of it in your teeth and it will mix with the tears on your cheek.

I have been climbing out of that hole for nearly four years now and I am not quite to the top yet. Getting there, but I still have more climbing to do. I am close, so close. If only things would quit breaking.

But I wouldn't have made it this far without grasping onto minimalism and, perhaps, being very frugal.

Minimalism has allowed me to focus on what's important even when things aren't going well. It is a matter of focusing on what you do have and not on what you don't. It is paying attention to your real needs and letting go of what isn't necessary. Instead of panicking, you trust that slow climb upwards. You take time to see the beauty within the chaos. You find peace in wanting less. You no longer feel poor when you are surrounded only by things that bring joy.

Well, most of the time you no longer feel that way.

Things still break. Important things that need fixed. But you are no longer at the very bottom of the hole getting dirt kicked in your face. Minimalism gives you some measure of control in a situation that can leave you feeling helpless. Even when things break.