My Little Urban Farmstead: Raising Chickens and Gardening in the City

I would like to show you around my little backyard homestead.

Growing up in Ohio I was always used to putting in the garden around early April and almost ignoring it while still getting a good crop of vegetables. I've struggled with having a productive garden here in Texas for the last couple of years and I think it's mainly because I start my garden too late in the season. The plants don't have a good start before the heat sets in. This is the earliest I've ever planted a garden. It's in the spot where my original chicken coop used to be for the last few years so it's quite fertile. I'm feeling hopeful that this year I'll be able to harvest plenty to feed my son and me, and maybe even a little extra to share.

I planted tomatoes, romanesco (if you don't know what this is, Google it. It is beautiful), lettuce, carrots, zucchini, cucumbers, dill, basil, spinach, thyme, and beets. I always plant marigolds to repel pests. The dill usually gets sacrificed to caterpillars. Five days from now I should have little sprouts coming up from the seeds I planted. I never cease feeling excitement and wonder at the little sprouts pushing up towards the sky. Life renewed.

My old coop was a disaster and I worried nightly about predators getting in. One night a young opossum did get in and cornered one of my hens. Luckily I woke up to hear the screams my poor frightened girl was making. If you ever hear a chicken scream in fright you will never forget it. I ran out barefoot, scooped her up, and herded everyone into the kitchen where they spent the night. Everyone has kept chickens in their kitchen, right?

The new coop is much nicer, but it was quite the challenge...

I was excited to be the first in line when this coop came up as a freebie on a chicken group I'm in. The catch was I had to move it. The original person who was supposed to move it for me had a nice trailer and all of the equipment to properly move a building this size but he backed out last minute. I posted on Craigslist and found someone else who promised he could move the coop on the back of his truck. Moving day came and he was late meeting me at the site to pick it up. When he finally showed up he's driving an older pickup with a small bed. I had a bad feeling.

I wish I'd saved the photo of the coop loaded onto his truck. It looked like Beverly Hillbillies moving into town. It was a disaster waiting to happen, but he and his partner insisted that they didn't need to take it apart to move it. It didn't sit properly on the bed of the truck and it towered over the road. We didn't even get a half mile down the road when the wind caught the door and whipped it off, sending it flying directly at me and my son who were following in my Jeep. By sheer luck, it didn't hit us or anyone else and instead shattered all over the road. They had failed to properly tie down the door. I was a nervous mess the rest of the way home. 

Somehow we made it the 30-minute drive to my house. We passed a police officer and it was with great relief he didn't pull them over for having an improper load. I explain to them where I want it to go. They unloaded it at the side of the house but insisted they couldn't get it to the back yard because of a low hanging tree. By this time I was done with them, so I told them to just go and I'd figure out something on my own. I might have muttered a few curse words under my breath as they left. 

The coop sat there with the roof off and no door, totally useless to me, for four months. I had to stare at its behemoth teal form every time I stood at the kitchen sink. It was with the gracious help of a friend that it was moved in to place and the door another friend gifted me installed. If it wasn't for his help I'd probably still be staring at the darn thing out my window. Now that it is all set up where it is supposed to be and my chickens are all settled in, this hippy girl is happy. I have four hens contently roosting in the coop and now that the days are longer all four are gifting me daily eggs. 

As I told my friend, I'm quite content being the neighborhood crazy chicken lady.

Minimalism and Scarcity

Minimalism can feel like an abstract ideology to those who don't understand it. It can even be hard to define for people who do get it. But one misconception I see again and again is this idea that minimalism is about living without, taking a vow of poverty, of self-induced scarcity. Minimalism is something much simpler and more beautiful than that.

Scarcity is actually minimalism's nemesis. They are like oil and water. Minimalism is intentional and creates peace. Scarcity, whether perceived or real, stirs up fear. Case in point, about a week after Hurricane Harvey came through Texas it was rumored that there was a gas shortage here in San Antonio. Panic took over and people started lining up at the gas pumps in droves. It was taking hours to get through the line at some stations. People were bringing many containers to hoard gas. Soon there was a real gas shortage. It lasted for several days as trucks had a hard time hauling enough gasoline to make up for the shortage caused by the mass panic.

Scarcity, or the fear of, triggers hoarding.

Minimalism is only about living with the things you need or want, or, as Marie Kondo says, the things that bring you joy and the things you absolutely need. This very open-ended definition can fit many lifestyles from living on the road to living in an apartment in downtown Chicago.

Insist on holding onto your vast library of books? Awesome! Books bring me joy, too. Need your car for work. Of course. I wouldn't expect you to bike 10 miles in the sleet to get to work. It's your choice how you want to embrace minimalism. And that's the beauty of it. You don't have to throughout all of your stuff and go live in a grass hut with one pair of clothes and a notebook and pen..unless you want to.

The only rule, if you want to call it that:

RID YOURSELF OF EVERY SINGLE THING THAT WEIGHS YOU DOWN.

The dusty clutter, the photos of people you don't even remember who they are, the gifts kept out of guilt. Let them go. Look at time wasters, too. I deleted the Facebook app off of my phone because I didn't want myself casually clicking on it when I was out of the house. Clean out your email accounts and unsubscribe from all those newsletters you'll never read. Hang out with people who feed your soul.

Then fill that empty space with more time for family, more money for travel, time to meditate or write that novel. Things that make your heart sing.

Or, leave it empty like a great big blank canvas of opportunity.

It's really your choice.

Oh, and please refrain from judging those who are embracing minimalism a little bit different than you. Or those who don't choose to embrace it at all. We are all doing the best we can with what we know right now. And when we know better, then we may do better.

Staying Centered When The World Feels Out of Control

I know I'm not the only one who looks around and thinks our society has collectively gone mad on many levels.

Yesterday, on my way home, I decided to stop into the newest HEB grocery store because I needed to pick up some milk. It was opening day. People were filling the parking lot. I grabbed my milk and decided to look around, but after a couple of minutes decided to head straight for the checkout. It's a beautiful store, shiny and bright, filled with a wide selection of items, but is it really what we need? Wouldn't the world be better with more farmers markets, local bakeries, small mom and pop shops? Do we really need another Wal-mart, Target, corner drug store, gas station, etc.?

Folks, we are rushing headlong into an environmental disaster. And we don't seem to be able to stop ourselves. We are like buffalo running ourselves off a cliff.

While all of this is going on, our country is dangerously divided. People are slinging hateful words at each other, and worse. The threat of a war with two different countries is being flung about. Every day, the news brings something else negative and the divide gets wider.

Then there are our own personal struggles. Right now mine is the struggle to build a thriving business while taking care of all the responsible stuff as a single parent. Some days are about flow. Some days are full of resistance and I just want to give up.

It can be hard to not feel discouraged. But there are some things you can do, that I do, to help keep you in the right mindset.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It's important that we own how we are feeling. When we feel discouraged, we may try to push down the sadness and disappointment. Or, if you are prone to anxiety or depression, curl up in a ball and hide from the world. But in neither of these instances are we owning how we feel. We need to be able to look in the mirror and say to ourselves, "Yes, I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now.  Things feel out of control."  

Ask Yourself This One Question

What is one step I can take today towards achieving XYZ? Whether XYZ is taking control of where your food comes from, speaking out politically, building a business, working toward minimalism, or something entirely different, just take that one step that is in your power to take. There is always something you can do, no matter how small. 

Minimalize

When you're surrounded only by the things that bring joy to your life or you need to make your life run smoother, your life isn't going to feel as chaotic on a personal level. It's one more thing you can feel you have control over when things aren't going as planned. 

Find Your Tribe

Find people who understand your way of looking at things. Then reach out to them. Isolation can be devastating when you are feeling overwhelmed. I know first hand. Taking a step back is fine, especially if you are an introvert in need of recharging. Hiding out and avoiding people, especially those people who can lift you up, is unhealthy.

Get Out In Nature

Research has shown that exposure to the natural world is healing. If you aren't up for a hike through the wilderness, take your morning coffee outside and listen to the morning bird song. Grab someone from your tribe and go for a walk or run at a local park. You will be avoiding isolation, getting some exercise, and exposing yourself to nature all at once. 

Detach From Social Media

Some of us, like me, depend on social media to promote our businesses. I can't be away from it for large chunks of time. But I can step away for blocks of time. One thing I did so I'm not absent mindedly clicking into Facebook when I'm out is to simply uninstall the app from my phone. I can only access Facebook from my laptop or my tablet. In fact, I don't have any social media apps on my phone, so if you want to get ahold of me when I'm away from my desk you will have to call or text. I'm looking at going further and declaring one solid day where I step back from social media. 

And finally...

Keep A Gratitude Journal

I can't stress this enough. I have kept one for five years now. I switched from keeping a traditional journal to a gratitude journal because I felt like I was focusing too much on the negative stuff. I don't write in it every day, but I do make sure to sit down with it several times a week, especially on those days things don't feel like they are going well. It is on those days that you especially need to sit down and take stock in every positive in your life, no matter how small. Maybe it's just that you got out of bed and combed your hair. Write it down. The plus about a gratitude journal: you won't need to burn them to get rid off all the negative stuff you don't want your children to read when you are gone. 

What do you do to help keep you centered during crazy times? I'd love to hear your stories.

The Great Purge: Peeling Back the Layers of Over Consumption

It amazed me how much stuff one can own. According to a March 2014 article in the Los Angeles Times, the average U.S. household contains 300,000 items. 47% of all toys and books are owned by children in the U.S., who only make up 3.7% of the children on the planet. It feels like 80% of those toys are in my son's room right now. Ugh. Well, to be fair, it's mostly Legos, but still...

The path to minimalism is a peeling of the onion. Layer one, all the stuff. Step one, the initial purge. This step can be a bit overwhelming. Where do you even begin? My suggestion is to start with the obvious. What stands out as a burden to you? What brings bad memories or sits around collecting dust? Put it in a box and get rid of it. Donate it to a local thrift shop, a homeless shelter, a women's and children's shelter. Hold a garage sale.

My initial purge was brought about by the end of a tumultuous marriage. I got rid of everything that reminded me of his presence. That was a really easy purge, I admit. I had a big garage sale and made enough money to pay the rent.

During the second purge, you will likely dig a little deeper. By this point, there may be some things you have been holding on to that suddenly seem trivial or silly to keep. Why do I have enough wine glasses to throw a party when I am more likely to just have one or two friends over?  What am I keeping this heavy winter coat for when it never gets cold enough to wear it where I live?

Peel that onion back. Peel some more.

The hardest part? Fighting back all the stuff well-meaning people in your life will gift you and (especially) your children during the holidays. If you find the answer to that, get back to me.

I'm in the process of yet another purge. I'm peeling away to get down to the core of what I actually need to own and what I want to keep around because it makes me happy. I've cleaned out a dressing table that mostly served as a place to catch dust, pile unfolded laundry, and just generally gather a messy junk heap that the cat enjoyed pushing into the floor. I have it for sale and I really hope a buyer comes along quickly because it's already becoming covered with stuff once again.

I've purged my kitchen yet again until I'm mostly down to the basics. I am left with one dilemma in the kitchen. I have two sets of dishes. One is a collectible and pretty. The other is basic every day and chipped from misuse. My inclination is to sell the collectible set and keep the set I don't mind getting banged up, but the other set brings me more joy. These are the kinds of dilemmas you will find yourself in as you minimalize your possessions, but don't get stuck on them. For now, I'll keep both and figure it out later.

Minimalizing can take time. Most minimalists don't begin by giving away or selling everything overnight to live out of a bus with their suitcase full of clothes. It's a slow removal of what doesn't work for you. It's a monthly or quarterly or yearly revisiting of the things that surround you, peeling the layers of consumerism that drown our society in too much stuff until you get to the core of who you are and what you need.

Help A Little Blog Grow

Dear readers,

I'm asking for a favor.

If you have read my blog posts, Living an Authentic Life and Redefining Earning A Living, you are well aware of my journey towards living a simple, sustainable lifestyle supported financially through writing, photography, and painting. My goal with this blog, particularly, is to write more often, create some freebies for you, and streamline the appearance. The blog ironically feels too cluttered, though I write about minimalism regularly.

I started The Hippy Home five years ago, not to make money, but simply to share some of my passions with you. I began at a rough time in my life. I previously ran another blog that started out documenting my family life, but it turned into something darker when my ex turned abusive. The Hippy Home was a new beginning, a focus on the something positive. A look toward a better future.

This is where you come in. What is my blog worth to you? If you find value in what you read here, I ask that you click on the image link below to contribute toward growing The Hippy Home. It's quite OK if you don't. You may be in a place where it is difficult to contribute. You may be a skeptic. Maybe you think everyone should be able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps with no help from strangers. That's OK. But if you have found real value in anything I've posted, please consider a contribution that will help me transition to supporting myself and my son through blogging. If you leave me a little note with your address, I'll even send you a hand drawn postcard from Texas with a big thank you from me and the boy.

Sincerely,
Gina
The Hippy Home

Click Image Below:

Redefining Earning a Living

I've always felt a calling toward creating. Painting, photography, writing. I was always told those weren't legitimate choices. People like to throw out the much overused "starving artist". Then they pick some poor artist or writer who remained unknown until his or her death to use as an example. You'll end up like that, they'd say. So I've always held on to the belief that as long as I pursued these callings I wouldn't make any money from it. And, guess what? I've never really earned any money from any of these endeavors. I mean, yeah, I've earned a little here or there, but not really what I was worth. Because I wasn't expecting to.

Our American society, and perhaps all societies built on similar economic systems, holds that the only worthy way of earning a living is by sacrificing your time and your dreams. It's the American dream you are supposed to be going after. Big house, nice car, pretty things. You get a J-O-B working for someone else at least 40 hours a week. If you are lucky, it's something that both pays well and brings some level of satisfaction. If you are lucky. If not, you slog away your days for someone else just so you can keep a roof over your family and food on the table. In our society it's never been about what brings you joy. It's how much money you make and all of the things that you can buy with that money.

Earn a living. The word "living" should never be associated with monetary worth. That's where we have gone horribly wrong. You earn an income for the deemed value of your work. That value often seems arbitrary to the whims of society, e.g. starving artist.

There is another way.

Minimalism and the tiny house movement are a part of this revolution to rethink and redefine what it means to earn a living. If you have less stuff, you need less money to maintain or replace that stuff. You can work less or chose work not by how much it pays, but by how much joy it brings you. That is liberating, especially for someone who doesn't fit in with this consumerist mold.

Someone like me.

And now here I am J-O-B less. Falling into the same traps. Hearing those old voices. You can't make a living blogging. No one wants to buy your art. The photography market is over saturated. You can't earn a living that way. You need to get a real job. Rent is coming due and you are broke. Get real.

I've given up on those dreams too many times. I quit art school. I stopped painting for a while. I stopped writing, stopped trying to get published. I gave up my photography business because the ex told me I needed to get that "real" job. Start. Stop. Start. Stop.

I'm tired of stopping. I'm angry at those voices. It's time to prove them wrong.

I've read about people young and old who sold everything to live a mobile life. Some earn a living through their computers. Some live off of the funds from selling everything that held them down. I've read about people who live off a small plot of land, modern day homesteaders who need very little from the outside world. There are the urban minimalists who live in small apartments and use their time and money on experiences instead of filling up an oversized house with stuff. These people are truly redefining what it means to earn a living. If they can do it, so can I. If they can do it, so can you.

Embrace your joy and earn a livable income. The two aren't mutually exclusive, contrary to what we've been taught.

21 Day Kindness Challenge

I fully admit I've been struggling. June was a rough month for me. Sometimes when you decide to do something big, fear can grip your heart with some big old ugly claws. I've been stuck inside my head too much, worrying about not being able to cover the bills, taking myself too seriously, and generally falling into a self absorbed funk, which accomplishes nothing towards being able to actually pay the bills and left me feeling highly anxious.

I know I'm not the only one struggling these days, and our current political environment doesn't help. The news looms large with violence and negativity. Our world is a mess.

A couple days ago I watched the video, My Turning Point, by Kristina Kusmic (aka Truth Bomb Mom). I found myself sobbing loudly and uncontrollably. I haven't allowed myself a good, healthy cry like that in a long time. It really hit home. I'll post the video at the end because I want to get to the challenge, but it was something I deeply related to and got me thinking, What is one little thing I can do right now? What am I good at?

I like to think I'm good at blogging. I can use that platform to help others.

So, the 21 Days of Kindness Challenge was born, just a few hours ago actually. Starting tomorrow, July 3, 2017,  I want all my readers to perform one mindful act of kindness every day for 21 days (I will be participating, too) and come back here or to the Hippy Home One Simple Change Challenge Group and share your act of kindness. Buy a cup of coffee for a stranger. Put change in someone's parking meter that's about to expire. Contact that friend you haven't talked to in a while and let them know you are thinking about them. Pick up trash in your neighborhood. Volunteer your time. Reach out to an elderly neighbor. There are so many ways to express kindness that don't involve money. Think outside of the box. And if you are having a particularly rough time, save one of those 21 days to treat yourself with kindness.

Share this post everywhere. Spread the love. Let's see how many people we can get on board. The world needs more kindness and change starts with one small act at a time. With many small acts from many people, amazing things can happen. The world may be a mess, but there is still beauty out there. Kindness and goodness still exist. Let's do this!

Here's the video I promised you. Have some tissues ready.

Is Minimalism Poverty Appropriation?

I have a firsthand knowledge of poverty. There was a period of time growing up where my family lived in a home that was dark, drafty in the winter, and way too small. The roof leaked. I feared that the bathtub would fall through the floor every time I took a bath because the floor was so rotten. My parents drove $500 cars with the muffler tied up and the seats worn. I was embarrassed to have friends over and hated the cheap clothes I wore to school. Sometimes Mom would have to get creative to feed us. Dad became bitter and angry. He worked so hard, but it wasn't enough. We were among the rural poor of America.

I found myself struggling as an adult, five years ago, after my marriage to a very emotionally abusive man fell apart. I lost my job because I lacked childcare for my then three year old son. I had to rely on assistance to feed us. I had to beg, borrow, and take on odd jobs to keep the rent paid. I've dealt with the humiliation of having the lights cut off. I've dealt with the struggle of having to decide between getting the car repaired so I could drive to work or paying the bills. I eventually was offered a job as a teaching assistant in a little private school and now work as an art teacher at a different school. I still don't earn a lot, but we get by enough that I am no longer on government assistance.

So, yeah, I know a little bit about poverty.

Today I came across an article entitled The Troubling Trendiness of Poverty Appropriation by July Westhale. Westhale makes the connection between minimalism, the tiny house movement, and poverty appropriation. She admits "This idea of "returning" to a "simple" life is one I struggle with." She tries to make the case that by wealthy people choosing to simplify their lives is poverty appropriation simply because poor people are limited by choice. 

I want to point out three things. One, poverty does not equal living a simple life. There is nothing simple about poverty. Two, poor people still have choices and are still capable of making bad choices that further hinder their situation and good choices that may lead to a more satisfying life. Three, minimalism isn't some feel good trend for the wealthy. In fact, in my experience, minimalism improved my standard of living even though I was poor. 

This is the second article I have come across trying to equate minimalism trends with poverty appropriation. I just don't see it. Yes, there needs to be more conversation on poverty in America, as well as an understanding of the unique challenges of the urban and rural poor. I see a huge rift between the really wealthy of our country and the poorest. In our current political climate that rift seems to be growing at an alarming rate. But I actually see minimalism as part of the solution to the issues surrounding poverty. 

Minimalism uses up less resources. It encourages thrift and moves us away from capitalism. It demands a respect for environment, lifting quality of living. Embracing minimalism actually allows  me to live on a lower class salary and truly embrace simplicity. I still struggle. I still make bad choices from time to time. Hey, I'm human. But minimalism has improved my standard of living.

I feel like Westhale doesn't fully understand minimalism and harbors some resentment for her years living in poverty. I get it. I feel that resentment at times, too. But I realize it's a struggle inside of me and doesn't help. I think she also uses a couple really fringe groups to make her point that poverty appropriation is even a thing. 

I agree with her that poverty sucks. It's nothing to mock and it is far more complicated than the stereotypes our culture assigns to it. However, she misuses the word appropriation. I see no glorification of the poor through minimalism. It is possible to be poor and choose minimalism as a way to better one's life. It is also possible to be wealthy and choose to embrace minimalism as a means to escape the rat race overconsumption of our society. Neither is better than the other. Neither is an insult to the other. Both are living their lives the best they know how. 

Raising A Free Range Child in the Modern World

This past summer my boys got to enjoy a couple carefree days exploring their grandparents' woods and pond. They spent an entire day undisturbed, building the framework for a hut and sharpening sticks into daggers. I only interfered long enough to make sure they ate. At the end of the day they were dirty, tired, and happy. It was a rare taste of freedom to explore the world on their terms that modern parenting seems void of. I want more of these moments for my boys, for all children.

Fear seems to rule parenting these days. I get it. There are horrible people out there who harm children in unspeakable ways. There are nosy neighbors who call CPS over a child playing alone in the yard, no matter the age of the child. Things can happen, and fast, though statistics show that our fears, for the most part, are anomalies. We are afraid that our kid is going to be the one in a million and we'd have to live with that guilt the rest of our lives. So how can we provide the freedom of exploration to our children within a framework that best protects them?

When my brother and I were growing up, we'd be gone for hours, playing in drainage ditches with the neighbor's children, exploring fields and forests, and climbing trees. It was a wonderful freedom and it taught us a lot about our world. I'm sure it also gave Mom a break. Our explorations are some of my favorite memories as a child. They instilled a sense of independence and a love for the natural world that I still have today. What has changed? Certainly not the risks involved in such free play.

Lenore Skenazy, a leader in the movement to reclaim childhood freedom describes the reasons why children are no longer as free to roam as they once were. She says we live in a hyper media culture where stories about hurt and endangered children quickly grab our attention and play on our fear. We have also become a culture of experts who judge others and the way they parent.

Our society seems to hold the view that children must be protected from all risks of injury. Here's the thing, risk taking, independence, and discovery all lead to increased confidence. Our fear of our children being harmed could be creating fearful children who avoid risk taking and are void of the kind of creative thinking skills needed to succeed as an adult. Overall, children are better at assessing risk than we give them credit for. They are not the fragile, inept little beings we label them as.

 So what can you do in this modern world of limitations, especially if you live in an urban area? First of all, allow your child plenty of unstructured time. Give him or her unsupervised access to things like scraps of wood, a hammer, and some nails. Let an area of your back yard grow wild for exploration and fort building. My seven year old can spend hours playing with the dog or the chickens in the overgrown shrubbery while I am in the house cooking or writing for my blog. Yes, kids need to spend time with their parents, but they need time without us as well. Let them get dirty, scrape their knees from running, climb trees and get stuck, build forts, and sharpen sticks into daggers. Give them room to explore their world on their terms, without an adult standing over them telling them how the world should be. After all, they are tomorrow's problem solvers and if we don't give them the chance to figure smaller things out on their own now, how can we expect them to work out the larger things later?

Join The One Simple Change Challenge

The best way to improve our health and wellbeing is through making small changes and sticking with them. Over five weeks, beginning September 11, I will post a weekly challenge to the Facebook challenge group to help you make those changes. The challenges will be easy changes you can make to improve your health. And, yes, they will be cumulative, meaning you will continue with the previous challenge when you begin the next one. The idea is to incorporate them into your daily activities so they become life long habits. I will also share some of my favorite tips for healthy living.

Accountability and support are the two biggest contributors toward success, so check in daily and let everyone know how you are doing, ask questions, have fun, and support your fellow challengers. Oh, and invite friends!

How can you join? Click here: One Simple Change Challenge

Here is to life long health!

A Conversation on Living Simply

Today's post is going to be short because I want you to do most of the talking. I would love to hear your thoughts on simple living/ minimalism. So, grab a cup of coffee, or tea if you prefer, and pull up a chair, just two old friends chatting on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

Minimalism and living a simplified life look like different things to each of us. It can depend on where you live, what stage of life you are in, and your expectations. Do you embrace, or are you working towards, living a simple life? What does that look like to you? Urban homesteader, isolated cabin in the woods, mobile tiny house living?

In our fast paced, consumer driven culture minimalism can be very challenging. Especially when you have well meaning family and friends who do not embrace your lifestyle. Special occasions and holidays can be very tricky. How do you face those challenges? How do you avoid buying more stuff you don't need?

Leave your comments below, and I promise to respond to every one of you. If you have any questions regarding minimalism and simple living, I'd love to hear those as well.

Why You Should Regularly Unplug from Technology

     

1. Recharge Your Soul, And Your Mental Health 

Our brains aren't wired to process the vast amount of information available to us over the Internet. It can be very overwhelming, especially when you add in the emotional impact of recent events; mass shootings, protests, the presidential election. We are inundated with stories of victims, rumors, and heated discussions that too often are turning ugly. We may start feeling anxious or depressed. 

We need to give ourselves space. While I don't advocate burying your head in the sand and avoiding the world around you, I do advocate disabling your social media apps and disconnecting from the Internet and television at least once a week. The hardest part is letting go of the feeling that you are missing out on something. But while you may be, you will be gaining something else, space for your own ideas, space to create and come alive away from the virtual world.

2. Focus On the Here and Now

We've all witnesses it, maybe even are guilty of it. The table of friends out at a restaurant for dinner, and all of them are checking their Facebook statuses or texting someone not present. Bluetooth and wifi have given us the ability to stay connected almost everywhere, but at what cost? Do you really want to be checking your email or reading your Facebook status everywhere? Turn your phone off and really take notice of who and what is around you. After all, the here and now is all we really have. 

3. Increase Your Productivity 

Pinterest is my time waster. I get a lot of great ideas for projects. As a teacher, it is a valuable resource. However, I often get swept down a rabbit hole of information, clicking from one link to another until I look up to find an hour or more has passed. I can tell myself that I was being productive, but really, it's the glorification of busy and an excuse to procrastinate. You have been there, too. Admit it. Maybe not on Pinterest. Maybe your vice is checking your email. You are looking for that one important email, but get lost reading all the unimportant stuff that can wait or should be deleted. Unplugging for a day, or even a few hours, opens up time to focus on hands on tasks. We have given ourselves one less distraction. I know I am far more productive at home when I unplug. 

4. Get Up and Get Moving 

Spending too much time behind our computers or looking down at our phones and tablets can have negative health effects on our body. Eye strain, neck and shoulder pain, and carpel tunnel syndrome can all take their toll when we spend too much time connected to technology. Our bodies need to move. We need to take time away from technology to get up and stretch, raise our heads up to gaze at the sky. My favorite thing to do when I unplug is hiking. Not only am I moving my body, but I am out in nature, which adds a whole other level of mental clarity.

The Balancing Act of Being Frugal and Enjoying Life

A recent Facebook post by financial advisor, Suze Orman, talked about evaluating your spending habits to find out where you are carelessly spending money in order to reallocate that money to savings, investments, or to pay off debt. The main point of the post seemed to be that there are always little money leaks we can plug in order to put that money to better use. The post was well meaning and on point for most people, but as someone who has struggled to climb out of poverty, I wanted to get the point across that this wasn't a concept that applied to everyone. My first year as a single mom I couldn't risk any frivolous spending. Getting a hair cut, purchasing new clothes, stopping at Starbucks for a coffee were things I simply could not risk spending my money on because any purchases outside of necessities meant I wouldn't be able to keep the lights on or a roof over our head. Even now, I only stop at Starbucks if I have a gift card and I can't even understand how anyone would spend $50 on an item of clothing. For far too many people out there struggling, there truly isn't any way to cut spending, and this is what I wanted to get across in my post. Too many people can't comprehend what it truly is like to be at rock bottom financially.

I agree that even people who are poor can spend their money on bad choices, but for me and many others, we watch where every penny goes. We brew our own coffee, buy clothes from the thrift store, avoid eating out, go without cable. We have already narrowed our budget down as far as it can go. And there is still nothing left over for an emergency fund, let alone investing.

An interesting point came up in the conversation I started, however, that got me thinking. One woman posted how it seemed sad to her that some people on the thread were so caught up in saving money that they missed the joy of going on vacation or other ways of spending their money that might bring them greater happiness. Is there such thing as being too frugal, especially when your income falls below the poverty line?

I watched an interesting speech by Harvard Business School professor Micheal Norton called How to Make Choices That Bring You Sustainable Happiness. You can watch the entire video here. He makes the interesting claim that money can buy happiness if you spend it on the right things, such as experiences or helping others. Even if you are poor. From my experiences I can say he is right on target.

But, wait a minute. How do you balance keeping a roof over your family's heads and food in their stomachs with spending money on experiences or helping others, especially when you are just getting by? Here's the deal. You don't have to spend big. All it takes is a little extra gas money or bus fare to get downtown to enjoy the free night at the museum, or maybe a day at the park, or an unlimited number of other experiences that cost little other than your time and the transportation to get there.

Spending money on others can be as simple as buying a bag of apples to hand out to the homeless or putting a couple extra dimes in a strangers parking meter that's about to expire. Again, it doesn't have to be high dollar to have meaning.

It's scary, though. This spending money on things outside of basic living expenses. When you are scraping by and unsure of how you are even going to make rent, every dime counts. Let me tell you something amazing. Every time I stepped back and spent outside of my comfort level on an experience for myself and my children or helped someone out that needed it more than me, things would alway work out. Always. And because of my choices to find ways to give my children wonderful experiences camping at the beach or roaming one of the local art museums on their free family night, my boys have wonderful memories made in the middle of some dreadfully awful times. To others looking in, our trip to camp at the beach may have seemed extravagant at the time, and maybe even a little risky. But to us, it was worth far more than I spent on the trip. How can you put a price on happiness?

My advice boils down to this: be frugal in the everyday areas of your life. Make due with your 17 year old robe. Drive a used car. Disconnect your cable. Simplify your life as much as possible. But, every once in a while splurge on an experience with your family. Even if it's just going out for ice cream. When you are struggling to get by you get so focused on survival that you can forget to take time to find enjoyment, but if you want to do more than just survive, I argue that being a little irresponsible every now and then is actually the most responsible thing you can do.

The Minimalist Guide to Burning Shit

One thing I had been holding onto as I went through the house purging of unwanted and unneeded stuff was several volumes of journals documenting the years I was with the little one's dad and ending sometime the year after he left us. At first I kept them to search for clues I should have picked up, but missed. Then, it was to form a timeline of events for court. I moved them from the bedside cabinet to a shelf high in my closet. Occasionally I'd leaf through one, but reading them just left me aching and angry all over again. So, they sat there on my closet shelf for months, collecting dust, too high up for me to reach easily.

But this is a year for change, for purging and letting go of all that garbage.

And it was still hard.

I began by ripping the pages loose from their binding into a big pile on my bedroom floor, setting aside the first volume from that very first year. I found the little charcoal grill and staged it on the picnic table outside, along with some matches. I fetched my pile of writings and sketches, crinkling them into balls and tossing them into the grill. Once I had a good pile, I started the fire. I felt almost giddy as I tossed page after page into the flames and watched them burn. Soon I had erased everything but that first year, the first volume, written on delicate pretty paper inlaid with leaves and flowers.

I took one last glance through its pages, sighed, and threw the whole journal into the fire before I could change my mind.

I don't know why it was hard to toss that first journal into the fire. It was full of lies, lies I told myself about how wonderful everything was. But, I suppose it was full of hope, too.

Why am I sharing this deeply personal story here? There is a process to simplifying one's life. First, you begin to see all the possessions you own that you don't need. You will discard old shirts, kitchen appliances you don't use, gifts that really weren't your thing but you were too guilty to get rid of, books you've never read but held onto for years. You will get really creative and toss all the bath products you don't use, candy you don't need to eat, copies of old bank statements. Then, when you have sifted through all of the obvious things that you can get rid of, you will come to the emotional baggage, the old love letters from your first crush, photos of friends who have moved on, and, if you are like me, journals full of stories of your life.

It is going to be a very personal decision for you to discard or keep. Listen to your heart, but be willing to let go of the past. If it doesn't feel right to toss it, hold on to it. You may change your mind one day, but if you don't that's ok. For me, it was time to move on. I'm done. As I told a close friend of mine, I don't need that crap in my life anymore.

Set it on fire. Burn that shit. Eat some chocolate and drink a glass of wine. Then move on. Because life is about moving forward. Besides, you don't need that crap in your life anymore either.

Finding YOUR Ideal Minimalist Life

One thing you will discover once you embrace becoming a minimalist is that, just like anything else in life, there are many paths. You will not want to wonder down all of them. Case in point, in my last post I announced all the reasons I was giving up having internet at home. Well, after three months without it, I realized that the logistics of leaving the house to access wifi when I wanted to use the internet to plan for my art classes or to blog just was more than I wanted to deal with. The idea behind minimalism is to simplify your life so you have more enjoyment in life and less stress. I sure wasn't feeling less stress from this decision. I found a cheaper internet provider and here I am, sitting at home blogging again.

Minimalism is not about doing without the things that bring you joy or help make your life less stressful. While my three months without the internet made life difficult, there are things that I have eliminated from our home that I do not miss. I do not miss a TV, nor do I see ever replacing the microwave. I always hated the clunky microwave sitting on the counter. It just took up too much space. Not to mention concerns over health issues. However, maybe your microwave eliminates stress in your life. I am not here to judge. Perhaps you can, and do, live without internet at your home.

Ideally, I would love to live somewhere where I could walk or bike everywhere and not worry about owning a car. But, living in an older suburb with a six year old son, I need a car to get around. The best path for me is to own a used car with no car payments to worry about.

My point is, we shouldn't beat ourselves up for not becoming puritans. We do need to pay attention to what brings us happiness and what leads to our ideal life. I find my happiness in creating, in being in nature, and being around those I love. None of this has anything to do with buying or owning stuff. It doesn't mean I don't want things. I would love to have a new plush robe to replace the worn and faded one I have had for over sixteen years. I want some rugs to make our home feel more cozy. I would be thrilled to own a newer camera. But these aren't things my happiness depend upon.

Minimalism is personal, so make it about you.

Less stuff, yes. Jump off the hamster wheel of over consumption and debt. Generate less waste. Slow down and cook at home more. From scratch, even. Spend more time being with the people who bring you joy, or in quiet retrospection alone. Do more of what brings you happiness, if that be reading, strolling in the park, or dancing all night surrounded by friends and strangers.

Just don't be hard on yourself over that one thing that doesn't quite fit into your ideal of minimalism that you hang on to anyway.

There are many paths up the mountain. What is important is that you enjoy the view along the way.

How to Live A Life of Joy

Sometimes you don't see a blessing headed your way until it is standing right in front of you. You look up and there it is, filling your heart and changing you for the better.

This past week it has rained quite a bit here in south Texas, causing my lawn to grow wild and lush. This afternoon I finally pulled out my mower to tackle the overgrown mess. It was a rather warm day, so I was hot and sweaty, thinking how I just wanted to be finished. I was about 2/3 of the way done and pondering how I was going to mow a small section of yard at the side of the house that I hadn't mowed last time because it is awkward to reach with my electric mower. That's when I looked up and saw him, an older gentleman wearing a stark white t shirt and a back brace walking towards me, pushing his own mower down the street.

In my neighborhood it is not an unusual thing to see someone pushing a mower down the street, but when he got to my corner lot the man reached down and started his mower, smiling at me. He set off walking again, mowing the edge of my lawn along the street. When he got to the overgrown area at the side of the house, he turned his mower into the tangled mess and began clearing it, still smiling. For a while we were both mowing in tandem, but I shut down my mower and backed out of his way while he finished cutting the final strip of lawn. The whole time he was smiling.

When he finished, he introduced himself and tells me he is 83 years old and dying of cancer. Doctors already removed a cancerous tumor from his brain, but now it has settled in his chest. He was told he has six months to live. He smiled again and said he had a great run. I thanked him for his help and tell him it looks like he has done a great job at living.

After he left, I headed into the house to tell my daughter what had occurred. I was nearly in tears. I heard a weed eater and peered out the window to see he returned to tidy up the spots you can't get with a mower. I couldn't see his face, but I am sure he must have still been smiling. Little one wanted to tell him thank you. I encouraged him to take the man a glass of water, but the man turned it down, saying thanks, but he had his own.

We could all learn a lesson or two on how to truly live out our days from this man. He didn't want anything in return other than the joy it brought him. How few of us reach out to help our neighbors, especially with a smile on our faces, yet this man who knows he is dying has found a life of joy at the end of his days by reaching out to help his neighbors. I am blessed, my heart feels fuller, and I feel somehow different. I have been shown how to live by a dying man.