The Hippy Home Needs Your Help!

!!!Update: I need to raise $325 immediately or my lease will not be renewed!!!

Dear readers,

I'm asking for help keeping The Hippy Home up and running.

The last three months have been hard for me, my son, and my little homestead and I am at risk of losing everything. I've lost income sources that have left us struggling and I'm falling behind on rent. For seven years I've worked on my own to keep this little Hippy Home of ours and creating our safe place in the world. I'm not quite sure what the next step would be if we lost it, especially so close to the end of this dark tunnel, but I'm not giving up yet.

The Hippy Home is growing. This Thursday I'm excited to be hosting the first free Hippy Home bartering event for local followers. The Facebook page and the blog have both grown in visitors. I'll continue to write informative articles for the blog so all of those new visitors can continue to find new content. I'd like to get some guest bloggers on board as well. All of this is awesome, but I need some financial support to keep it going.

This is where you come in. What is my blog worth to you? $1 $5 $25? If you find value in what you read here, I ask that you click on the image link below to contribute toward growing The Hippy Home. It will take you to Paypal. It's quite OK if you don't. You may be in a place where it is difficult to contribute. You may be a skeptic. Maybe you think everyone should be able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps with no help from strangers. That's OK. But if you have found real value in anything I've posted, please consider a contribution that will help me keep this blog alive and my little backyard homestead together.  I'll even send you a postcard of Princess Lea the chicken from San Antonio, Texas with a big thank you from me, the boy, and our menagerie of animals.

I'm also looking for business sponsors who would be interested in advertising on the blog. Contact me and we'll see if you are a good fit.


Thank you,
Gina
The Hippy Home

Click Image Below To Donate:

Is Minimalism Poverty Appropriation?

I have a firsthand knowledge of poverty. There was a period of time growing up where my family lived in a home that was dark, drafty in the winter, and way too small. The roof leaked. I feared that the bathtub would fall through the floor every time I took a bath because the floor was so rotten. My parents drove $500 cars with the muffler tied up and the seats worn. I was embarrassed to have friends over and hated the cheap clothes I wore to school. Sometimes Mom would have to get creative to feed us. Dad became bitter and angry. He worked so hard, but it wasn't enough. We were among the rural poor of America.

I found myself struggling as an adult, five years ago, after my marriage to a very emotionally abusive man fell apart. I lost my job because I lacked childcare for my then three year old son. I had to rely on assistance to feed us. I had to beg, borrow, and take on odd jobs to keep the rent paid. I've dealt with the humiliation of having the lights cut off. I've dealt with the struggle of having to decide between getting the car repaired so I could drive to work or paying the bills. I eventually was offered a job as a teaching assistant in a little private school and now work as an art teacher at a different school. I still don't earn a lot, but we get by enough that I am no longer on government assistance.

So, yeah, I know a little bit about poverty.

Today I came across an article entitled The Troubling Trendiness of Poverty Appropriation by July Westhale. Westhale makes the connection between minimalism, the tiny house movement, and poverty appropriation. She admits "This idea of "returning" to a "simple" life is one I struggle with." She tries to make the case that by wealthy people choosing to simplify their lives is poverty appropriation simply because poor people are limited by choice. 

I want to point out three things. One, poverty does not equal living a simple life. There is nothing simple about poverty. Two, poor people still have choices and are still capable of making bad choices that further hinder their situation and good choices that may lead to a more satisfying life. Three, minimalism isn't some feel good trend for the wealthy. In fact, in my experience, minimalism improved my standard of living even though I was poor. 

This is the second article I have come across trying to equate minimalism trends with poverty appropriation. I just don't see it. Yes, there needs to be more conversation on poverty in America, as well as an understanding of the unique challenges of the urban and rural poor. I see a huge rift between the really wealthy of our country and the poorest. In our current political climate that rift seems to be growing at an alarming rate. But I actually see minimalism as part of the solution to the issues surrounding poverty. 

Minimalism uses up less resources. It encourages thrift and moves us away from capitalism. It demands a respect for environment, lifting quality of living. Embracing minimalism actually allows  me to live on a lower class salary and truly embrace simplicity. I still struggle. I still make bad choices from time to time. Hey, I'm human. But minimalism has improved my standard of living.

I feel like Westhale doesn't fully understand minimalism and harbors some resentment for her years living in poverty. I get it. I feel that resentment at times, too. But I realize it's a struggle inside of me and doesn't help. I think she also uses a couple really fringe groups to make her point that poverty appropriation is even a thing. 

I agree with her that poverty sucks. It's nothing to mock and it is far more complicated than the stereotypes our culture assigns to it. However, she misuses the word appropriation. I see no glorification of the poor through minimalism. It is possible to be poor and choose minimalism as a way to better one's life. It is also possible to be wealthy and choose to embrace minimalism as a means to escape the rat race overconsumption of our society. Neither is better than the other. Neither is an insult to the other. Both are living their lives the best they know how. 

How to Eat Healthy on a Budget

I am by no means perfect when it comes to healthy eating. Sweets are my downfall, especially chocolate and ice cream. But I have never sacrificed healthy eating due to budget shortfalls. As with anything else, it is all about prioritizing. Where are you not willing to budge and what is most important to you? I do not clip coupons, though I will use them when I see a good deal, but as a single parent I don't have time to be the coupon queen and most of the items I buy never seem to have coupon deals anyway.

Here are some of the things I do to cut grocery costs and still eat healthy:

• Prioritize the foods I am not going to compromise on. Example, I prefer buying organic, but it's not always in my budget. However, I do stick to buying organic foods listed on the EWG's dirty dozen list. I figure at least that way I am reducing the amount of pesticide and herbicide exposure in my family.
• Shop mainly from the perimeter. I forget where I read about this tip from, but most groceries are set up with the unprocessed food on the perimeter; dairy, meat, produce, etc. You will automatically be eating healthier with this tip alone.
• Put a permanent ban on, or at least limit, items with little or no nutritional value. I don't buy soda or candy. You won't see Little Debbies in my cart. Much to my youngest son's dismay, I won't buy sugary cereals. I rarely buy cereal at all anymore. Like I said, I do give in to ice cream every now and then and I have convinced myself that the three pack of dark chocolate bars at Trader Joe's is a healthy treat. But if I am going to make the most of my grocery budget, then things that don't actually nourish us need to go.
• Grow my own. Right now I have a little salad garden providing greens, tomatoes, and broccoli. Most of these can be grown in containers on a patio if you are tight on space. I am also fortunate enough to live in an area that I can have my two chickens, who provide plenty of eggs for me and the boy.
• Don't buy things I normally wouldn't buy because they are on sale. On the other hand, if I see something I use regularly on sale or clearance, I stock up. The important thing here is to not play into the retail marketing game. You understand your needs more than a sale advertisement flyer. 
• Plan, make a list, and stick to it. When I do this, I am more likely to stay within my budget. Of course, sometimes I will step outside of this when I see something that will reduce next week's budget because of an unexpected clearance sale. Again, it has to be something I truly need and will use up.
• Reduced my meat consumption. We eat mostly vegetarian, some fish and chicken. Regardless of your political standings regarding the consumption of meat, a good quality steak is expensive. Plus, it really isn't healthy to make it the main focus of your diet. 

Recently, I am trying two new ways to cut cost, but since I have just started using both I have no idea on their long term benefit. The first is Amazon's subscribe and save for items like toothpaste, toilet paper, dog food, and other nonperishables. I got my first delivery at the beginning of this month and now I have six months worth (or a butt load, ha ha!) of toilet paper, among other things I regularly use. You can pick how often you want them to send an item and there is a bigger discount if you order several items in a month. 

I also just downloaded the Ibotta app to my phone and will be trying it out this week. This app refunds you for certain purchases simply by submitting photos of your grocery receipts using your smart phone. There are other similar apps out there as well. I am excited to give it a try. For military families, many of the rebates are good on purchases at the commissary so you might want to give it a try. If you already use Ibotta or a similar app, I'd love to hear your feedback. 

Here is to healthy eating! 

Minimalism Can Help You Break The Chains of Poverty

This is another one of my thinking out loud posts. Some of you already know I am getting back on my feet after some really tough years. Not easy, let me tell you. My first year as a single parent I was earning well below the standards set for poverty in our country. That year my total taxable income was $7,000. It took a lot of creativity and help from family and friends to keep a roof over our heads, but I did it. By all comparisons, I am doing much better now. But busting out of poverty is no easy task unless you make a really significant jump in income. Why? Things break. Credit piles up. If I hadn't been thrust into poverty, what I earn now, with my lifestyle, would be bountiful. I'd be able to build a savings. But that never happens. Because things break.

Right now I am ignoring the fact that my Jeep has a leak in the cooling system because going to the mechanic is not a financially sound option. So I keep adding fluid so it doesn't overheat and kill the engine. I haven't replaced my eye glasses in, well, it has been so long I can't remember. I have been putting off seriously needed dental care for that same amount of lost time.

Poverty is like a really deep hole in the ground with loose soil piled up around it at the top. You can attempt to climb out, but you've got to find a way to do it without burying yourself. At times you will be so tired from climbing your way out you want to just give up. You've had so much dirt thrown in your face it seems impossible to climb out. Occasionally you get a glimpse of someone walking by your hole and you try not to get angry, try not to envy them for having both feet on the ground. And occasionally someone up there will toss you a stepping stone so you are a little closer to the top, or hand you a shovel so you can dig easier. Someone may even throw you a rope, but you still have to climb out. Just as occasionally, someone will kick dirt back into your hole, where you will taste the grit of it in your teeth and it will mix with the tears on your cheek.

I have been climbing out of that hole for nearly four years now and I am not quite to the top yet. Getting there, but I still have more climbing to do. I am close, so close. If only things would quit breaking.

But I wouldn't have made it this far without grasping onto minimalism and, perhaps, being very frugal.

Minimalism has allowed me to focus on what's important even when things aren't going well. It is a matter of focusing on what you do have and not on what you don't. It is paying attention to your real needs and letting go of what isn't necessary. Instead of panicking, you trust that slow climb upwards. You take time to see the beauty within the chaos. You find peace in wanting less. You no longer feel poor when you are surrounded only by things that bring joy.

Well, most of the time you no longer feel that way.

Things still break. Important things that need fixed. But you are no longer at the very bottom of the hole getting dirt kicked in your face. Minimalism gives you some measure of control in a situation that can leave you feeling helpless. Even when things break.

How to Survive Being Jobless

Photo By Kamil Lehmann

Being jobless can feel a lot like driving down the above road. It looks barren. No gas station around for miles and your gas gauge is leaning towards empty. The road just goes on and on. Unless you brought along a few good friends for company, you might start to feel like you are all alone. You may not even be able to get radio reception out here, let alone a cell phone signal.

Stop. Pull over the car. There is beauty in the barrenness. The road does lead somewhere. And you can survive. Reach your arms to the heavens, close your eyes, and breath the fresh cool air. Then, get your ass back in that car and drive with purpose and passion, because, honey, you are going to need that fire lit full force inside you!

This is my story, how I survived one of the hardest years of my life. It was my first year as a single parent. When little one's dad moved out I had to quit my job at a local dry cleaners, the only job I could find after being out of the workforce to care for little one. I had no child care and even if I did, I couldn't afford it on my meager earnings. I managed to sneak him to work with me for a couple weeks, but then the boss found out. I was getting no child support and had no idea how I was going to keep a roof over our heads. It was scary and stressful. In fact, I didn't see child support from little one's dad until court ordered during the divorce proceedings the following year.

I am stubborn, however. I wasn't about to let this ship sink. I needed to be resourceful and creative. I needed, above all else, to care for my boys. I look back in amazement now, shaking my head in wonder at how I managed to keep a roof over our heads, the lights on, and food in our stomachs. My earned income from standard employment that year totaled a whopping $7,000. Yep, you read that right. $7,000.

So on this day of independence I share my story. How did I do it?

Garage Sales

Facebook is a wonderful thing these days. It can allow you to have contact with a large number of people. I knew most people were probably like me when it came to cleaning out their homes of unwanted possessions. They piled them in a box in the garage. The box collected cobwebs. So I posted to Facebook that I was looking for garage sale donations and that I would gladly pick up.My hunch was correct. I was able to earn over $500 with that first sale, making up the difference I needed to pay rent. I have since held three more money making yard sales to supplement our income. Each one has made nearly $300. 

Craigslist

Anything donated to us that I knew was of some value was listed on Craigslist. I also scoured the house and listed anything of value I knew I could live without. As I am hoping to one day move into a small cottage or build my own tiny home, I was eager to begin downsizing anyway. I don't know how much I've made selling stuff off of Craigslist. I haven't kept a record of it. But it has made a difference. There were times I didn't know if I was going to afford gas for the car when someone made a purchase and I was able to fill the tank. 

ODesk

If you are unfamiliar with ODesk, it is a place to find legitimate freelance work from home. While the work is legit, the pay varies greatly and isn't really the best way to earn a living, especially starting out. The biggest drawback is that you are competing internationally, meaning that workers in less developed parts of the globe can underbid you on jobs. However, I did find temporary blog writing assignments and worked for a shoe catalog company out of the UK posting to their Facebook and Pinterest pages. The best part was that I enjoyed doing it.

Got a Roommate

I learned a few things from this one. While it was a mutual gain at first for both of us, I did not have a written agreement in place to avoid certain conflicts. If you are going to rent out a room, have them sign an agreement and put down a small deposit. Even, or perhaps especially, if you are friends. I currently don't have a roommate, though I could use the extra money. I confess I am quite the introvert and like my space. Besides, now the little one has taken over the spare room as his playroom. But if I hadn't had a roommate during that first year, things would have been a lot tougher financially.

Asked For Help

And do so with a grateful heart. It can be hard to ask. Especially when it seems like you are doing a lot of asking. I needed to set aside my pride and care for my children. So I got on food stamps, had help through an agency with catching up my utility bills, had a family member help one month with rent, and I continue to be blessed with help as we get back on our feet. There is no shame in asking for help. We all need it from time to time. Just make sure to say thank you. Again and again, thank you. 

Used my Talents

Use a talent or hobby to bring in money. Mine just happens to be photography. Perhaps you could teach piano lessons to kids in your neighborhood. Maybe you like to make candles. You could sell them locally at craft fairs, through you Facebook page, or through a site like Etsy. Get along great with dogs? Offer to dog sit. Look at what gives you joy and think about how you might be able to earn money from it. Who knows, maybe it will become a successful venture and you won't have to return to work for someone else.

Became Obsessively Frugal

I stopped buying paper towels, foods with no nutritional value, anything I could honestly say was just a want. I hung the clothes out on the line more often, became fanatical about turning off unused lights and avoided running the air conditioning and heating as much as possible. We didn't eat out. We didn't go to the movies. We didn't buy our clothing new. And yet, we weren't miserable. In fact, we enjoyed a certain amount freedom that year.

I am still working to get us to a point where we are comfortable financially, but rebuilding takes time and we are only just on our third year out. When I think back over that first year, I am quite frankly amazed. But, like I said, I am stubborn. A full blooded, hard headed Taurus. I have also been blessed with generous help from friends and strangers. Their help was the tipping point that allowed us to survive. For that I don't know if I can ever say thank you enough. You see, though at times I felt lonely, I have never been traveling that road alone.

You Can Eat Healthy on a Low Income Diet

This post is was inspired by the comments on an article I was reading a couple days ago about healthy eating and income disparity in America. There is a pervasive myth that you can't eat healthy if your income falls below the poverty guidelines. It isn't even that hard to do. I should know. I've done it. I've been doing it for two years now, as a single mom just getting by. I've done it on food assistance. I've done it without. My taxable income on last year's tax return was (drum roll, please) a mere $7,000. Yes, you read that right. Yet, food was one area I was not willing to compromise on with my boys. So, yes, you can eat healthy and be "poor" by American standards.

I want to share how I've fed myself and my children healthy meals on a limited income.

• Change Your Mindset. Instead of buying food by price per quantity, purchase food based on price per nutritional benefit. Thinking this way also shrinks your medical budget. It is an overall win for your grocery budget. Over processed white bread and discount mac and cheese may be low priced compared to healthier options, but when you look at nutritional impact there is no competing.
• Stock up on healthy staples. Vegetables like sweet potatoes, carrots, beets, onions, and winter squash all keep well and are low cost. Dried or canned beans can be added to soups, salads, or stand on their own. Just make sure to rinse canned beans well before using. 
• Eat less meat. Or none at all. While I do still serve meat, we don't eat it at every meal. Some weeks we are more vegetarian than not. Eggs are an excellent protein. So are nuts, dried beans, and seeds. There are plenty of nutritional and good tasting protein sources beyond meat. Meat is expensive to produce and to buy. Not to mention the added health benefits of eating less meat.
• Utilize your freezer more. I freeze left overs to lower food waste. I also purchase items marked down that are great to stock up on and freeze them for later use. Most of the time these items are marked down because they are nearly out of date, but freezing them prolongs the shelf life. I bought fresh red peppers that had been pre-chopped and stuck the container in the freezer. I bought organic strawberries that were marked down and made a batch of strawberry freezer jam. 
• Avoid the soda and chips isle. I don't buy soda. I don't buy candy. I don't by Cheetos or Little Debbie's snacks. None of them are healthy. I am getting no nutritional value for my dollar by purchasing these highly processed snacks disguising themselves as food. None of them actually nurture and feed my family. So I avoid them. I am not a food Nazi.I do occasionally get the hankering for some kettle chips, but they are not  regular purchases because my food dollars need to really count nutritionally. 
• Eat smaller portions. Americans tend to overeat. Avoid going back for seconds. Fill your plate from the stove and take it to the table. If the food isn't within your reach you are less likely to overeat. Eat from a small plate. We don't use our large dinner plates. The larger the plate, the more food you are going to pile on. Eat only what your body needs.
• Drink more water. Add a slice of lemon, if you'd like. It's the lowest cost, healthiest beverage you can fill your glass with. Your body needs it, unlike sugary soda.
• Grow your own. Did you know that you can use food stamps to buy seeds? Even the smallest window can grow some herbs or baby spinach. There are some varieties of cucumbers and tomatoes that can be grown in containers on an apartment balcony. Get involved in a neighborhood garden. 
• Reduce food waste. Letting food go to waste is like burning your money. If we are not going to eat all of something I've made, I freeze it. If something is about to make the transition from possible dinner to compost bin, I try to use it up immediately. A couple weeks ago I had a zucchini that was looking like it was on its last hours and a partial container of buttermilk that wasn't far behind the zucchini. I made up a batch of buttermilk pancakes, grated the zucchini and added it to the mix, thinking along the lines of zucchini bread. The pancakes turned out wonderful. The little one ate them up. And the zucchini and buttermilk didn't go to waste. 
• Use coupons and pay attention to store sales and clearances. But don't get wrapped up in buying ten boxes of cereal that you don't eat because they are cheap. Be mindful. Only use coupons on food items that make sense to your family and that meet the nutritional requirements of your food dollars. I find that most items I purchase aren't typical coupon items, unless it's a store coupon for a free bag of potatoes or something. My store also is constantly bringing in new products and clearing out the old. I once stocked up on an overabundance of gourmet spaghetti sauce because they were pulling it from the shelves and it was marked down to 25 cents a jar. It's something we use and lasts a long time as long as it's sealed. I still have a couple jars left.
• Cook it from scratch. With real ingredients. Yes, I know we are all tired. Yes, there are so many hours in the day. That's why I utilize weekends and/or my slow cooker. And some things really don't take that much more time, like making pancakes from scratch. Or cornbread. Or homemade salsa. Or...you get the idea. 

Tonight I had a bed of baby greens topped with beets, saute'd onion, and a fried egg over easy, drizzled with a little olive oil and a dash of sea salt. Yes, the greens are organic. Hopefully, I'll have my own baby kale and spinach in the ground by next week and I'll save some money there, but I'd much rather buy a bag of organic greens than a case of soda. Eating healthy on a limited budget is possible, you just need to make trade off's and avoid the junk that unfortunately seems to fall into most carts. Your hard earned money will go further by spending it on nutritional quality versus quantity and taking into consideration the above guidelines. 

Healthy food isn't a privilege of the rich. While I may not be able to afford a nice salmon steak every week, I know I am feeding my family healthy foods.

Why Poor People Making Bad Decisions is a Dangerous Mindset

I am writing this post in response to two recent articles I have seen repeatedly being shared around the internet: This is Why Poor People's Bad Decisions Make Perfect Sense, and The 5 Stupidest Habits You Develop Growing Up Poor. I have taken some time to mull over the content of both articles and waited until the little one was with his dad to sit down and write so I get my thoughts down clearly.

Perhaps it is because I am older, and hopefully wiser. Perhaps it is because I was blessed with a mom, who even in the bleakest poverty, gave her children hope. Perhaps it was the influence of my depression era grandparents. Or maybe it is recognizing the blessings me and my boys received when I was struggling on my own for the first time. But the perspective I have of being poor is so different from Linda Tirado and John Cheese. Don't get me wrong. Being poor is a struggle, but both of these authors perpetuate a mindset about poverty that is dangerous and pervasive in our culture.

I know first hand what it is like being poor as a kid and an adult. I developed pneumonia from living in a damp, cold house way to small for my parents and siblings. My greatest fear was the bath tub falling through the rotten floor when I took a bath. My dad's pay check came through the mail and if it didn't arrive on time it was a challenge for mom to feed us. Often the cars we drove were junkers with doors that had to be held shut with twine or mufflers held up with coat hangers. It was difficult going to school as an adolescent and wearing cheap, outdated clothes. It seemed no matter how hard dad worked we were stuck.

I have also gone without as an adult. Most recently right after my husband moved out on us and left me struggling to get by with two boys. There were times I had to beg to keep the lights on. I had to get on food stamps to keep us fed. Every month was a struggle to pay rent and keep a roof over our heads. I sold what ever I could of value to get by. It felt like I was constantly asking for help. While I am still within the federal poverty guidelines and I still am walking a tight rope financially, I don't necessarily feel poor. In fact I feel quite blessed. Even as I pull on yet another pair of socks with holes in them or shrug off not feeling well because I don't have health insurance.

So, yeah, my credentials are real. I know poverty. It sucks when you can't pay your bills. But justifying poor people's bad decision making is perpetuating the problem. And here is why:

Spending money is about self control

Being poor doesn't justify a lack of self control when it comes to spending money. Far too many poor people do go out and blow their big tax return on things they don't necessarily need and it gives them only a moments reprieve from feeling poor. When you base your spending on making you feel better, if you are poor or not, it is a temporary high. If you are poor, the reality of your situation will come crashing down on you sooner than later. Spending an unexpected windfall is a modern mindset that my depression era grandparents would have shaken their heads at. Our modern disposable, consumerism behavior is detrimental when you are poor. 

I buy all our clothes from the thrift store. I don't remember the last time I purchased new clothes, especially for me. If I want to make a big purchase I postpone it. I really want to get rid of this awful, filthy recliner that gives off bad vibes because my ex loved to regularly take naps there and replace it with a new, colorful side chair. I found a chair I like but I have continued to postpone purchasing it because I can't really justify spending over $100 on a chair when I need new socks, underclothes, and glasses. Having the self control to postpone a purchase on something that falls more into the "want" category than "need" gives you time to assess if the choice is a smart one or not. 

I want to also be a good role model and teach my children that it is important to be able to wait for something they want, that it is ok to not get everything they want. I don't feel I am contributing any more to their happiness by gong on a spending spree with our tax refund and buying them all of the things they are "deprived" of. 

Eating Healthy is Cheaper

Really. It is the junk food that is expensive when you think about it. It contributes to increased health costs and is full of empty calories. While I agree there are "food deserts" in big cities where good quality fresh produce is hard to come by, I must say that the biggest barrier to eating healthy is education. I also think some "foods" should not be allowed as purchases through food stamps. Soda is my biggest complaint. Soda is not a food. I'm sorry if you are a big soda drinker, but it is diabetes in a bottle. 

I just listened to a wonderful story about a chef who gave up his high paying job in a fancy restaurant to work for a soup kitchen. Instead of prepared and highly processed foods he cooks up fresh ingredients, increasing the healthiness of the meals and decreasing the cost per meal. Don't have a lot of time? Use a slow cooker. I love mine. I've seen them sold at my local thrift store. When you get home tired after a long day at work your meal is ready for you. 

The point is, avoid over processed and prepackaged meals. Avoid empty calories and junk food. If you concentrate all your food dollars on nutritional value you will be able to eat healthy on a limited income. Eating poorly is, again, a byproduct of our society which has written that poor people don't deserve good food. Don't believe it. You deserve it as much as the next person. Maybe you can't afford the lobster or to eat out at the local trendy restaurant but you do deserve, and can afford, good food.

And if you didn't already know, some farmers markets take food stamps. You can also use food stamps to purchase seeds to grow a garden. Your local food stamp office should be able to direct you to farmers markets and gardening stores that accept SNAP benefits. 

Mental Health is a Priority

Unfortunately, depression and poverty are closely related. Tirado is correct about that. It can seem like taking the time to care for your mental well being is a luxury when you are poor, but it is as important as eating healthy foods. I keep a gratitude journal. I pray. I rant to a close friend. As a single mom it can be difficult to find time when I am not working to focus on "me time" because my four year old is usually right there with me. Any mom will understand the luxury of going to the bathroom alone. But many things that are good for my mental health involve things I can do with kids in tow. I had the day off yesterday and the art museum waived admission for the day so we went and rode the cool elevators for free. My four year old did slow down to look at the art too but we have taken advantage of many free days and he kept exclaiming in frustration "Mom, I've been here before!" when I pointed things out to him. We then took a walk along the river. Don't fall for the "poor people don't belong here" mentality. Baloney. It's free and open to the public. Check out your local museums on their free days. Go to the library. Take a walk in nature. 

I find the biggest influence on my mental health is showing gratitude for what I do have. Yeah, I have to put off buying new eye glasses a little longer, but I did pay all of the utilities this month. They cut my food stamps (a mixed blessing), but a good friend had us over for a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. I drive an old car we nicknamed Rattletrap Car, after a children's book by the same name. I still owe over $600 for this car I purchased back in July for $800, but I'm grateful that the person selling it to me is working with me and that I was able to afford to get the inspection and registration up to date, as well as the title in my name. I am grateful that I have plenty of clothes in my closet, and so does my young son. I am grateful that I have a job I enjoy. Even if it doesn't pay enough or cover health insurance. I am grateful that I will be able to work extra hours in the coming weeks. I am grateful for my children, my family, my friends...

I have gone through depression. It numbs your whole world and sucks all the color out of it so that everything is grey and the simplest things seem like climbing dangerous mountains. It does make it hard to think about the future. When my ex left there were times when I was so scared, so depressed, that getting out of bed to face the day felt overwhelming. He wan't helping out financially and the rent was due. How was I going to keep a roof over our heads? I had to ask a friend to help us out with food. But when you feel like this you need to do two things: latch on to something that is so important to you that it is the driving force to life itself (for me it is my boys) and ask for help. There is help out there. If the first time you ask you don't get it, keep asking. Sometimes I had to ask and ask and ask, but my boys became the sole force moving me forward. I was not about to become homeless and succumb to despair. 

You Can and Should Make Goals for the Future

Poverty can feel like a dead end, but it is important not to fall into that trap. It is a hard cycle to break. Hard, but not impossible. Sometimes I do fear I will never experience what it would be like to not worry about having all my needs met or that I'll never be able to pay all those people back who have helped me out one way or another. I fear that I'll always have to struggle. But in spite of, or perhaps to spite those fears, I have made grand plans for my future. Not anything unreachable, and indeed pretty simple by some standards. I plan on getting to a place where I can save up to purchase about an acre of land and build a small 800-950 square foot house on it, as well as a small photography studio. I plan on having a small flock of chickens and a garden. This is my plan for me and my youngest son. I have the floor plan of the house I like posted on my refrigerator where I can see it every day. 

When you are already overworked and underpaid you look for something easy in your life and it can seem that eating over processed foods, not assessing your spending habits, and not tending to your health or your future are ways to make life a little easier, but in reality you are walking into the trap of a mythological mindset that is as dangerous to you as walking in front of a bus. You can make good, responsible choices that are moving you and your family forward, up, and out of poverty. It's not easy. Believe me, I've cried plenty of tears when I had to pay rent late, putting me deeper behind because of the late fee. I've thrown the cheap, over processed macaroni and fake cheese in front of my boys because it was cheap and easy to prepare and I was tired. I've pulled ten hour days at work and sold things I'd dearly like to have back just to make ends meet. But I'm not about to feel like a victim, nor am I gong to let myself feel poor in heart and soul. I have a future and I have choices, daily choices big and small, that impact that future. I'm not about to sideline that future because I'm "poor". 

Live simply. Live boldly. Be humble. Be grateful.